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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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[WALKING FOOTSTEPS]

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[BUZZING]

5
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[SLIP]

6
00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:28,395
[CRASHING]

7
00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:29,897
[JACKHAMMER]

8
00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,865
[ALARM SOUNDING]

9
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,867
[BRAKES SCREECH]

10
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:34,868
[THUD]

11
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:38,839
[MUSIC - "YANKEE DOODLE"]

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00:00:44,411 --> 00:00:45,312
Oh no!

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00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:51,051
ANNOUNCER: Scanning the
globe to bring you the very

14
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,320
worst news stories of the day.

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00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:57,958
It's the Slugtone Newsreel.

16
00:00:57,958 --> 00:00:59,860
NEWS ANCHOR: Who
would've guessed it?

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00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:02,796
Mr. Bill, the little clay man
from a little town of Despair,

18
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:05,299
considered the biggest
long shot in the history

19
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:08,101
of American politics,
has won the Presidential

20
00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:09,403
election in a landslide!

21
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:10,304
It's going to fall!

22
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NEWS ANCHOR: The worst
in Midwest history.

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00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:16,143
Yes, it was a grueling,
hard-fought campaign,

24
00:01:16,143 --> 00:01:18,145
one that will long be
remembered for achieving

25
00:01:18,145 --> 00:01:20,781
new heights in the political
art of mudslinging.

26
00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:21,682
Ohh!

27
00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:24,584
NEWS ANCHOR: But the little
man just kept bouncing back,

28
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:27,054
exerting his hands-on
approach to the never-ending

29
00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:30,991
tasks necessary for a successful
bid, like kissing the baby--

30
00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:31,892
[MR. BILL SQUEAKS]

31
00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:36,930
--pit-- bulls, and the
interminably long bus tours.

32
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MR. BILL: (SINGING)
Row, row, row your boat,

33
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,201
gently down the stream.

34
00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:42,235
Merrily-- ohh!

35
00:01:42,235 --> 00:01:43,136
[CHEERING]

36
00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:44,538
NEWS ANCHOR: But the
hard work paid off,

37
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,106
as the American
public turned out

38
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:49,476
in droves to cast their vote
for the little man from Despair.

39
00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:51,745
Now the celebrations are
over, and the real work

40
00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:54,881
begins for President Bill.

41
00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:57,351
[MUSIC - "HAIL TO THE CHIEF"]

42
00:01:58,251 --> 00:02:00,654
Oh boy, what a
comfortable chair.

43
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:02,089
It sure is great
being President.

44
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:03,023
Huh, Spot?

45
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:03,957
[SPOT BARKS]

46
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,625
MAN: Say, Mr.
President, it's time

47
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:06,960
to sign some important bills.

48
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:07,861
Oh boy!

49
00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:09,162
Yay!

50
00:02:09,162 --> 00:02:10,097
MAN: Whoops.

51
00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:12,265
MR. BILL: Oh no, the first
day on the job and we've

52
00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:13,834
already messed up the rug.

53
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,302
MAN: Gee, you're right.

54
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:16,536
We'd better use
some spot remover.

55
00:02:16,536 --> 00:02:17,404
[SPOT BARKS]

56
00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:18,839
Oh no, you leave Spot alone.
Don't!

57
00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:19,406
[SPOT BARKS]
No!

58
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:20,173
Wait!
Don't!

59
00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:21,675
Stop!
Noo!

60
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:22,976
MAN: There, perfect.

61
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:23,844
And it's a good thing.

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Because you know
what they always say.

63
00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:27,014
Uh, the-- "The
buck stops here."

64
00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:28,715
Now, what does that mean?
[BUCK GRUNTS]

65
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:29,683
Oh wait!
Oh!

66
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:30,484
I get the point!
No, wait!

67
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Don't!
[BUCK GRUNTS]

68
00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:33,520
Ohh!

69
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,322
Ooh, the thorns!
Ohh!

70
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:37,124
MAN: Oh, I see you
found the rose garden.

71
00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:39,626
No time to smell the roses
though, because the Chairman

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of the Joint Chiefs of
Staff would like to discuss

73
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:42,963
some new cuts in defense.

74
00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:44,164
Cuts in defense?

75
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,565
Yay!

76
00:02:45,565 --> 00:02:47,434
Oh no, he's going
to be mean to me!

77
00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:49,536
MAN: Nah, it's General Sluggo.

78
00:02:49,536 --> 00:02:52,005
And he just wants to show
you his new Star Wars cuts

79
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,240
Uh, no, that's OK.

80
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,175
Uh, we don't have to make
any cuts in the films.

81
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No.
No!

82
00:02:55,642 --> 00:02:56,376
No!
Don't do that!

83
00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:57,344
No!
Oh!

84
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:58,812
[ZAPPING]

85
00:02:58,812 --> 00:02:59,780
Oh wow!

86
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,248
Wow!

87
00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:02,215
[THUDS]

88
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,118
Boy, what a
splitting headache.

89
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:07,554
Being President is a lot
tougher than I thought.

90
00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:09,689
MAN: You're right,
President Bill,

91
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,825
because there are some
big problems left over

92
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:13,627
from the last administration.

93
00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:14,795
Like Slugga Hussein.

94
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:15,729
Oh, no.

95
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:16,697
So what does he want now?

96
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:19,633
MAN: He just wants to give us
what we've hoped for all along.

97
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:20,567
The new peace treaty?

98
00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:22,903
MAN: No, all the oil
you could ever want.

99
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:23,804
No, don't do that!

100
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:26,506
Oh!

101
00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:29,009
MAN: Now it's time to go to
the Hill to meet Congress.

102
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:30,544
Oh boy, Capitol Hill.

103
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,445
Yay!

104
00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:35,315
[MARCHING BAND MUSIC PLAYING]

105
00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:37,517
Gee, I sure hope me
going to the hill

106
00:03:37,517 --> 00:03:40,687
will help clean up Washington.

107
00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:45,058
Well, I hope Congress likes
my new budget proposal.

108
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,027
Hey, and the
Washington Monument.

109
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:50,030
You know, I once cut down a
cherry tree and lost a a foot.

110
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:52,032
Oh, and there's the
Jefferson Memorial.

111
00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:56,036
Yeah, I tell ya, Washington
DC is sure a beautiful place.

112
00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:00,340
MAN: Well, here we
are the Capitol Steps.

113
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:01,274
Oh boy!

114
00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:02,175
The Capitol Steps!

115
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:03,076
Hey hey!

116
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,945
MAN: Hey, it's Senate
Minority Leader, Sluggo.

117
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:05,846
MR. BILL: Oh no.

118
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,714
MAN: And he wants you to
look over his revisions

119
00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:08,915
to your new budget.
- Oh wait!

120
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:09,116
Don't!
Don't!

121
00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:10,083
Oh!

122
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,151
Oh!
Why?

123
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,519
Why?
Oh!

124
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:13,487
[BELL RINGS]

125
00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:14,387
Oh no.

126
00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:15,922
MAN: Oh gee, it's Senate recess.

127
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,090
[CHILDREN LAUGHING]
- Oh, no!

128
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:17,824
Don't do that!
Don't!

129
00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:19,326
Wait! (WINCING) Ow!

130
00:04:19,326 --> 00:04:20,327
Ow!

131
00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:21,228
Ow!

132
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:22,796
[SPLAT]

133
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:25,799
Ow!

134
00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:28,702
Gee, President Lincoln,
you know, being President

135
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:32,439
is sure a lot tougher
than I ever thought.

136
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,442
But I guess someone's
got to do it.

137
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,244
And-- and you know--
[BEEPING]

138
00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:39,412
I've taken everything those mean
old Sluggos have thrown at me,

139
00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:41,414
and I'm still standing tall.

140
00:04:41,414 --> 00:04:45,385
Yeah, maybe everything's going
to be all right after all.

141
00:04:45,385 --> 00:04:46,887
Change is hard.

142
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:48,355
But things can be different.

143
00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:51,224
Uh, maybe good can
triumph over evil.

144
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:52,125
Oh.

145
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,193
Oh, wait, no.
Oh!

146
00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:54,094
Ow!

147
00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:55,529
MAN: See you next time.

148
00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:56,863
Bye bye.

149
00:04:56,863 --> 00:05:00,367
[RAGTIME MUSIC]

150
00:05:38,638 --> 00:05:42,108
[WAVES CRASHING, GULLS SQUAWK]

151
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,024
[SPARKS IGNITE]

152
00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:08,935
[MUSIC PLAYING]

153
00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:14,260
[TRIBAL DRUMS PLAYING]

154
00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:17,263
[DISTANT GROWLING]

155
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:29,943
ERNEST: Sloughing my way
up the Kantezi river,

156
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:32,545
fighting malaria,
river blindness

157
00:08:32,545 --> 00:08:37,717
and savage Matabele
warriors, I, Indiana Worrell,

158
00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:41,454
have at last come face to face
with the pinnacle of my quest.

159
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:47,360
The two-by-four temple of pine.

160
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,862
[CHATTER]

161
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,363
Hey, bring my
those two-by-fours.

162
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:51,264
Sure.

163
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:54,367
I got 'em here.

164
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,837
[EQUIPMENT RUNNING]

165
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:06,880
The royal guard
has left their watch.

166
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,548
And the sacred
treasure of Nefertiti

167
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,016
lies just within our grasp.

168
00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:11,217
(NEW ORLEANS ACCENT) Nuh-uh.

169
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:14,421
Don't you go and be takin'
nothin' from no Nefertiti.

170
00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:16,289
She mighty particular
about that jewelry.

171
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,024
(AS OLD MAN) Now, Nefertiti?

172
00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:20,093
Yeah, I remember Nefertiti.

173
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:22,996
She used to drive
a '36 Chrysler.

174
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,165
(AS HIMSELF) Men, a narrow
window of opportunity

175
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:27,233
has been made available to us.

176
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:30,303
And we'd be fools
not to take it.

177
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:32,605
I'm going in.

178
00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:34,641
(AS OLD MAN) Don't worry,
Indy, I'm right behind you.

179
00:09:34,641 --> 00:09:38,044
Yes sir, I'm a-stickin'
to ya like glue.

180
00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:39,679
You're waitin' on me,
you're backin' up.

181
00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:42,248
[CHATTER]

182
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:46,586
[METAL DETECTOR HUMMING]

183
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:53,626
Ooh, a soon-to-be-discovered
marvel sings

184
00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:56,930
out its haunting love call.

185
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,833
Ah, to find a diamond.

186
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:05,738
A flawless, 30-carat, D-grade,
10-power water-white crystal.

187
00:10:05,738 --> 00:10:08,975
I believe cut in
Antwerp, an exact match

188
00:10:08,975 --> 00:10:13,713
to the one Fitzgerald died for
whilst coating on the Zambezi.

189
00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:14,647
[HORN HONKS]

190
00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:15,615
[BEEPING]

191
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,750
Ah, what's this?

192
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:19,586
Yes.

193
00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:22,355
A diamond of this
brilliance and quality

194
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:25,325
could only have come
from one source.

195
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,594
From the diamond
necklace which surrounds

196
00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:30,096
Cleopatra's crystal skull.

197
00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:34,534
But to find that, I
must delve even deeper

198
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:36,369
into the bosom of mother earth.

199
00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:37,303
[HORN BLARES]
Ow!

200
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,204
Ah!

201
00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:40,039
[BEEPING]

202
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:43,576
Could it be?

203
00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:44,577
Is it possible?

204
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:47,947
[ZAPPING]

205
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:52,785
Yes!

206
00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:54,420
It's Cleopatra's crystal skull.

207
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:57,323
[ZAPPING]

208
00:10:58,258 --> 00:10:59,225
[SAW BUZZES]

209
00:11:02,629 --> 00:11:04,631
Ow!

210
00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:05,598
Ow!

211
00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:08,701
[NAIL GUN FIRING]

212
00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:09,602
Ahh!

213
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:13,072
[NAIL GUN FIRING]

214
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,015
[TIRES SQUEAL]

215
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,016
[SCREAMS]

216
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,017
[THUD]

217
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,485
[MOANING]

218
00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:27,587
Wow.

219
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:28,488
[GRUNTS]

220
00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:30,456
[THUD]

221
00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:34,427
[ENGINE HUMS]

222
00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:37,497
[ENGINE REVS]

223
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:40,400
[SCREAMING]

224
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:43,870
[TIRES SQUEAL]

225
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,841
[FEARFUL PANTING]

226
00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:57,684
[ENGINE RUMBLING]

227
00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:58,585
What's all this about?

228
00:11:58,585 --> 00:11:59,686
I never did anything to you.

229
00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:00,587
[TIRES SQUEAL]

230
00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:01,487
That's it.

231
00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:04,791
Every time a power tool cops an
attitude, I get blamed for it.

232
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,225
They're going to
blame me for all this!

233
00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:07,594
[BUZZING]

234
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:09,762
What are you doing
this to me for?

235
00:12:09,762 --> 00:12:11,097
I'm not your enemy.

236
00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:12,699
Some of my best friends
are power tools.

237
00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:15,668
[ENGINE REVVING]

238
00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:18,137
Go away.

239
00:12:18,137 --> 00:12:19,606
[ENGINE REVS]

240
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:23,576
How'd you like to
come over to my house?

241
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,346
I could introduce you to
a nice little skill saw.

242
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,815
You're going to
get me in trouble.

243
00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:30,450
I'm going to get framed.

244
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:31,417
[TIRES SQUEAL]

245
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:32,418
[ENGINE REVS]

246
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,991
[NERVOUS PANTING]

247
00:12:38,891 --> 00:12:42,362
[SCREAMING]

248
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:44,864
[NAIL GUN FIRING]

249
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:47,333
Ow!

250
00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:51,304
[POP]

251
00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:57,310
Good thing it hit the hard end.

252
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:58,311
[ENGINE REVS]

253
00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:01,781
[BUZZING]

254
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,282
Ah!

255
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:05,284
[SCREAMING]

256
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:08,354
[SAW BUZZING]

257
00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:10,723
Ow!

258
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:12,225
Get out of here!

259
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:13,259
This place is going to kill me!

260
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:16,229
[SAW BUZZING]

261
00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:23,703
[LAUGHS]

262
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:27,106
With stealth and
agility, Indiana evades

263
00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:29,108
the serpent of endless teeth.

264
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:31,611
[BUZZING]

265
00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:33,079
[SCREAMS]

266
00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:38,584
[CRACKING]

267
00:13:40,086 --> 00:13:42,588
[SCREAMS]

268
00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:46,059
[BIRDS CHIRPING]

269
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:47,660
[LAUGHS]

270
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:48,561
[THUD]

271
00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:52,065
[BUZZING]

272
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:53,066
[TIRES SQUEAL]

273
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:54,067
[EXPLOSION]

274
00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:04,043
[GROANS]

275
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,415
Wow!

276
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:10,950
Look at this.

277
00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:16,489
It's a genuine prehistoric
television antenna component.

278
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,191
Wait'll Dr. Melon sees this.

279
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:23,496
Uh-oh.

280
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:24,397
Makita warriors.

281
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:29,469
Hey, what's the-- what--

282
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:30,369
Look at that!

283
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:31,337
What?

284
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:34,774
[WOOD CRACKING]

285
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,679
Uh-- ha-- uh--

286
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:40,646
Hey you!

287
00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:42,115
Come here!

288
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:44,584
Believe it or not,
I didn't do this!

289
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:45,818
[WORKERS SHOUTING]

290
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:46,786
The saw did it!

291
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:48,121
I just watched!

292
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:51,491
[BELLS RINGING]

293
00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:02,235
Dr. Mellon, this
university has worked hard

294
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,302
to build a good reputation.

295
00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:07,006
And you, with one
preposterous paper,

296
00:15:07,006 --> 00:15:08,975
have come close
to destroying it.

297
00:15:08,975 --> 00:15:10,877
But my theory is sound.

298
00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:12,545
History is not dead pursuit.

299
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:14,213
It grows and changes every day.

300
00:15:14,213 --> 00:15:15,748
Not here.

301
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:19,685
Here, you teach the curriculum
as approved by this board.

302
00:15:19,685 --> 00:15:21,521
But my theory,
the Green Mountain

303
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,956
regulars, it has validity.

304
00:15:23,956 --> 00:15:26,959
Until your theory
is fact, it is

305
00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:31,697
fiction, and belongs in
the English department, not

306
00:15:31,697 --> 00:15:32,598
history.

307
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:39,372
[SIGHS]

308
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:41,340
Yes, sir.

309
00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:43,976
Ladies and gentlemen,
that concludes

310
00:15:43,976 --> 00:15:46,979
our meeting for today.

311
00:15:46,979 --> 00:15:51,818
Thank you very much for
your time and consideration.

312
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:54,754
[CHATTER]

313
00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:57,623
That reference book you
have there is irreplaceable.

314
00:15:57,623 --> 00:16:00,159
I hope you're not planning
to take it off campus.

315
00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:01,727
No.

316
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:02,895
I'll be careful with it.

317
00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:04,530
See that you are.

318
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,799
(WHISPERING) We've been
having trouble with Dr. Melon.

319
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:07,834
It's a troubled time.

320
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:12,338
[CHATTER]

321
00:16:12,338 --> 00:16:14,307
Dr. Melon, I'm Dr.
Radner Glencliff.

322
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,208
[GASPS]

323
00:16:16,108 --> 00:16:17,977
Dr. Radner Glencliff, I'm
honored to meet you, sir.

324
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,278
I've read so much about you.

325
00:16:19,278 --> 00:16:20,279
Well, thank you.

326
00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:22,315
I must apologize for
my fellow trustees.

327
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,784
But both you and I know that
the infighting in academia

328
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:27,153
is so vicious only because
the stakes are so small.

329
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:29,188
Exactly, so small.

330
00:16:29,188 --> 00:16:33,226
Let's assume for the moment
that your theory is true.

331
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:34,427
Well, that would
mean that the crown

332
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:37,196
jewels residing in the
Tower of London are fakes.

333
00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:39,432
And the real jewels are
hidden inside a cannon

334
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:40,666
somewhere in Virginia.

335
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:41,834
Absolutely.

336
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:46,239
Listen, I have more of an
open mind than my colleagues.

337
00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:47,707
If you should come
across anything that

338
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:50,042
might help substantiate
your article,

339
00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:52,011
you be sure and
call on me first.

340
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,914
I think I may have a
better chance than you

341
00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:56,616
of getting them to accept it.

342
00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:57,950
Oh, well, thank
you very much, sir.

343
00:16:57,950 --> 00:16:58,885
I will.
You're a good man.

344
00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:00,052
Thank you.
- Thank you.

345
00:17:00,052 --> 00:17:01,120
Take care.
- Yes.

346
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,021
GLENCLIFF: Bye-bye.

347
00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:06,726
[SIGHS]

348
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:10,062
Hmm, let's see.

349
00:17:10,062 --> 00:17:11,163
Mosquito repellent?

350
00:17:11,163 --> 00:17:12,798
Yeah, that ought to scare them.

351
00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:14,934
Blasting caps.

352
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:18,104
A brain is a terrible
thing to waste.

353
00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:20,873
Map, map, where's the map?
(BRITISH ACCENT) Oh, come now,

354
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,309
don't tell me you've lost
that bloody map. (AS PIRATE)

355
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:24,210
Oh no, sir.

356
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:26,946
That map's around
here somewheres.

357
00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:29,015
Hey, professor!

358
00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:30,716
What's new in the history biz?

359
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:31,918
Nothing.

360
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:33,886
Well, why the long face?

361
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,988
I thought you were a
hysterical professor.

362
00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:39,225
Well, look, no time
for games today, OK?

363
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,993
I just had a meeting with
the Board of Regents.

364
00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:42,261
And it really
didn't go that well.

365
00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:43,829
Hey, you got
something on your shirt.

366
00:17:43,829 --> 00:17:44,630
- Where?
- Gotcha.

367
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:45,431
Ah!
[LAUGHS]

368
00:17:45,431 --> 00:17:45,865
Ernest!

369
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:47,199
Why do you insist
on playing these

370
00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:49,035
outdated sophomoric pranks?

371
00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:53,306
Hey, speaking of
outdated, look what I found.

372
00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:54,907
I don't have the
time nor inclination.

373
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,976
No look, you see,
it's curved here,

374
00:17:56,976 --> 00:17:58,044
and it's got a beveled edge.

375
00:17:58,044 --> 00:17:58,945
Great.

376
00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:01,380
And I bet it would
make a swell boomerang.

377
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:02,381
[GRUNTS]

378
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:06,319
It'll be just the weapon
we need (AUSTRALIAN ACCENT)

379
00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:09,522
when our mates are thrashin'
about in the water,

380
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:12,091
trying to keep away from them--
right, all right-- sharks.

381
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:15,761
[SWOOSHING]

382
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,797
Ah!

383
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:18,698
[THUD]

384
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:24,236
Sorry.

385
00:18:24,236 --> 00:18:25,137
[LAUGHS]

386
00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:26,672
Oh, Ernest, you
are unbelievable.

387
00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:27,907
You really are.

388
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:29,175
That's the university's book.

389
00:18:29,175 --> 00:18:31,143
I'm responsible for it.

390
00:18:31,143 --> 00:18:32,878
Well, it's OK.

391
00:18:32,878 --> 00:18:33,913
I'll fix it.

392
00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:36,015
And they'll be none the wiser.

393
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:36,916
Hmm.

394
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:37,917
[SQUEAKING]

395
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:38,818
Just pull this out.

396
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,286
What?

397
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,588
[MOANS]

398
00:18:42,588 --> 00:18:43,589
Oh, Ern--

399
00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:44,490
I'm sorry.

400
00:18:44,490 --> 00:18:46,092
Oh, please-- look,
I have an idea.

401
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:46,993
Yes.

402
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:48,894
Next time you see me,
just don't speak or wave

403
00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:51,764
or say anything like, hey Dr.
Miller, look what I found!

404
00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:52,698
OK?

405
00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:55,434
Pl--please.

406
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:56,635
Where did you get that?

407
00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:57,837
I found it.

408
00:18:57,837 --> 00:18:59,638
- Where did you find it?
- In France.

409
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:00,539
I found it in France.

410
00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:01,440
Where in France?

411
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:02,408
Outside Paris.

412
00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:03,976
Where outside-- you've
never been to Paris.

413
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:04,877
Let me see it.

414
00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:06,178
Where did you find it?

415
00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:11,784
Well, I found it
near some, uh, ruins.

416
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:13,619
ABNER: If this is
what I think it is,

417
00:19:13,619 --> 00:19:15,054
we are on the verge
of a major discovery.

418
00:19:15,054 --> 00:19:17,623
You mean it's part of an
alien spaceship or something?

419
00:19:17,623 --> 00:19:18,524
You want your pickle?

420
00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:20,760
Stamped out insignia
like these were used

421
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,995
as identification plates
on American battlefield

422
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,096
wagons in the 1700s.

423
00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:24,997
Well, why?

424
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,899
Didn't the wagons
know who they were?

425
00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:30,403
If (LAUGHING) by some
miracle, there is a 3, a 1,

426
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:33,739
and a 4 on this
plane, it will prove

427
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:37,076
that the Green Mountain Regulars
Unit 314 really did exist.

428
00:19:37,076 --> 00:19:39,011
And at least part of
my theory is true.

429
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,382
Yes.

430
00:19:43,382 --> 00:19:45,217
There's a 4.

431
00:19:45,217 --> 00:19:48,187
You see, I told you being
buddies would pay off.

432
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,222
Professional
collaborators, perhaps.

433
00:19:50,222 --> 00:19:51,524
Buddies?

434
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:52,425
No.

435
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:53,592
[CHEWING LOUDLY]

436
00:19:53,592 --> 00:19:56,395
Who makes this bread anyway?
Goodyear?

437
00:19:56,395 --> 00:19:59,098
ABNER: I believe King George
III sent the Crown Jewels

438
00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:02,334
of England to America, to remind
those revolutionary colonists

439
00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:04,370
they were still subject
to the British crown.

440
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:07,606
But the old 314th ambushed
the English guard unit

441
00:20:07,606 --> 00:20:10,176
and stole the Crown Jewels
right here in Virginia,

442
00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:11,877
then hid them in the
barrel of a gigantic

443
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:14,713
regiment mechanical Goliath.

444
00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:16,248
There's a 1.

445
00:20:16,248 --> 00:20:17,917
Vindication is so close.

446
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:23,122
Look!

447
00:20:23,122 --> 00:20:24,623
There's a 3!

448
00:20:24,623 --> 00:20:26,492
Yes!
There was a 314th!

449
00:20:26,492 --> 00:20:27,860
[GRUNTS EXCITEMENT]

450
00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:28,828
Finally it's true!

451
00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:29,795
My theory is true!

452
00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:31,130
It's true!

453
00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:33,132
[GAGGING]

454
00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:35,101
[GROANS]

455
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:42,475
DOCTOR: Yes, absolutely, Doctor.

456
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:43,976
I agree.

457
00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:47,146
I've tried mutual funds,
money market CD's, and I just

458
00:20:47,146 --> 00:20:48,881
can't seem to keep
ahead of inflation.

459
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:52,051
Risk, Dr. Keen, is
the fuel of wealth.

460
00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:54,587
Take the conquistadors
of the 1500s.

461
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:57,156
They risked everything to
find wealth in the New World.

462
00:20:57,156 --> 00:20:58,224
And they found it.

463
00:20:58,224 --> 00:20:59,125
Didn't they?

464
00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:00,226
Yes.

465
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:01,293
But many men died.

466
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,397
MR. BILL: So your
doctor friend will know

467
00:21:05,397 --> 00:21:07,166
what my metal boomerang is?

468
00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:08,667
ABNER: Oh, absolutely.

469
00:21:08,667 --> 00:21:11,670
Dr. Radner Glencliff is the
preeminent private collector

470
00:21:11,670 --> 00:21:13,839
of historical artifacts
in the nation.

471
00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:15,674
And fortunately for
us, he's a wise man

472
00:21:15,674 --> 00:21:17,676
with no preconceived notions
about how history was written.

473
00:21:17,676 --> 00:21:19,512
ANNOUNCER (ON PA): Dr. Wong,
please report to Emergency.

474
00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:21,013
Can I help you?

475
00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:21,914
Yes.

476
00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:24,283
I had a preconceived
notion once.

477
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:25,451
But it turned out
to be something

478
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:26,552
I'd already thought of.

479
00:21:26,552 --> 00:21:28,387
When he sees this,
he'll get behind my theory

480
00:21:28,387 --> 00:21:30,890
and the Board of Regents
will listen to him.

481
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:32,558
Well, what can I do for you?

482
00:21:32,558 --> 00:21:35,294
Dr. Abner Melon to see
Dr. Radner Glencliff please.

483
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:36,195
Oh, I'm sorry.

484
00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:38,931
Dr. Glencliff is not
available at the moment.

485
00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:39,832
Oh.

486
00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:41,901
Oh, I'm-- I'm sorry.

487
00:21:41,901 --> 00:21:43,102
But I did have an appointment.

488
00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:44,103
Oh?

489
00:21:44,103 --> 00:21:47,072
MR. BILL: Let me handle this.

490
00:21:47,072 --> 00:21:49,842
My good woman, kindly
tell the doctor

491
00:21:49,842 --> 00:21:52,678
that the two persons
waiting in the anteroom

492
00:21:52,678 --> 00:21:54,980
are in possession
of a metal plate

493
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:57,817
from a giant cannon
called Goliath.

494
00:21:57,817 --> 00:21:58,784
[ZAPPING]

495
00:21:58,784 --> 00:21:59,685
Oh!

496
00:21:59,685 --> 00:22:00,886
[BEEPING]

497
00:22:01,787 --> 00:22:05,124
You stand over there.

498
00:22:05,124 --> 00:22:06,425
- Over there?
- Over there.

499
00:22:06,425 --> 00:22:07,326
MR. BILL: Over--

500
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:08,561
Over there!

501
00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:11,297
Over here?

502
00:22:11,297 --> 00:22:13,232
I'm supposed to be doing this.

503
00:22:13,232 --> 00:22:16,635
I've got the D-R-period in front
of my name, not you, Ernest.

504
00:22:16,635 --> 00:22:19,939
Could I have my
boomerang back please?

505
00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:21,040
[SWOOSHING]
[CLANG]

506
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:21,941
Ow.

507
00:22:21,941 --> 00:22:23,342
[GRUNTS]

508
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:24,944
I don't know him.

509
00:22:24,944 --> 00:22:26,512
He followed me here.

510
00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:27,413
He did.

511
00:22:31,584 --> 00:22:33,953
Gentlemen, gentlemen,
come right in.

512
00:22:33,953 --> 00:22:36,255
Sorry to interrupt
you, doctor.

513
00:22:36,255 --> 00:22:38,257
Oh, this is overwhelming.

514
00:22:38,257 --> 00:22:41,961
Look, the Greco-Roman
bust of Zeus.

515
00:22:41,961 --> 00:22:42,962
Oh, Cleopatra's--

516
00:22:42,962 --> 00:22:45,965
Tube top.

517
00:22:45,965 --> 00:22:47,900
Ben Franklin's kite.

518
00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:50,236
Doctor, I've seen pictures
of these items in magazines.

519
00:22:50,236 --> 00:22:52,204
But to see them
in person is truly

520
00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:53,205
a breathtaking experience.

521
00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:55,441
I've spent a lifetime
and service fortunes

522
00:22:55,441 --> 00:22:56,976
collecting what you see here.

523
00:22:56,976 --> 00:22:59,511
I knew a guy who
collected roach wings.

524
00:22:59,511 --> 00:23:00,946
He's got one from Africa.

525
00:23:00,946 --> 00:23:02,481
It's as big as a fly swatter.

526
00:23:06,185 --> 00:23:09,521
Ms. Wilson said something
about an ID plate.

527
00:23:09,521 --> 00:23:11,523
Yes.

528
00:23:11,523 --> 00:23:13,259
Ernest found this at
the construction site

529
00:23:13,259 --> 00:23:14,460
at the Fairway Estates.

530
00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:15,361
See?

531
00:23:15,361 --> 00:23:16,362
3, 1, 4.

532
00:23:16,362 --> 00:23:17,896
GLENCLIFF: Hmm--
[SHUTTER CLICKS]

533
00:23:17,896 --> 00:23:19,231
Certainly has the
right markings.

534
00:23:19,231 --> 00:23:21,934
Seemed like the right
alloys for the period.

535
00:23:21,934 --> 00:23:23,302
Have you done a
carbon dating yet?

536
00:23:23,302 --> 00:23:25,104
No but the chip
points are so obvious.

537
00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:26,405
GLENCLIFF: Yes they are.

538
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:27,306
[BOING]

539
00:23:28,574 --> 00:23:29,475
I agree with you.

540
00:23:29,475 --> 00:23:30,909
This could be the
genuine article.

541
00:23:30,909 --> 00:23:32,278
Well, good for you.

542
00:23:32,278 --> 00:23:33,612
ABNER: Then you'll
support my theory

543
00:23:33,612 --> 00:23:35,047
with the Board of Regents?

544
00:23:35,047 --> 00:23:37,650
GLENCLIFF: Now, Abner, we
can't go off half-cocked here.

545
00:23:37,650 --> 00:23:39,118
[CRACKLES]

546
00:23:39,118 --> 00:23:41,287
Other than this little bit
of evidence that the regiment

547
00:23:41,287 --> 00:23:44,023
existed, you have nothing.

548
00:23:44,023 --> 00:23:46,592
Now, Dr. Melon, even if
we were to accept this--

549
00:23:46,592 --> 00:23:47,493
[DISGUSTED GROANS]

550
00:23:47,493 --> 00:23:49,695
--as proof that the Green
Mountain Regulars were not just

551
00:23:49,695 --> 00:23:52,598
a fiction, surely you
can see that we're still

552
00:23:52,598 --> 00:23:54,933
a long way from having
any real evidence

553
00:23:54,933 --> 00:23:59,772
that the crown jewels of England
were hidden inside a cannon.

554
00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:01,674
Now, if this
artifact were to lead

555
00:24:01,674 --> 00:24:04,176
to some remnant of
Goliath, well, then you'd

556
00:24:04,176 --> 00:24:06,645
have something I could support.

557
00:24:06,645 --> 00:24:09,248
Well, if I could
find Goliath, I--

558
00:24:09,248 --> 00:24:10,316
I'd have the proof I need.

559
00:24:10,316 --> 00:24:11,850
GLENCLIFF: Dr.
Melon, believe me.

560
00:24:11,850 --> 00:24:14,086
I want your theory
validated as much as you do.

561
00:24:14,086 --> 00:24:15,454
But I've just got to have more.

562
00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:16,422
More?

563
00:24:16,422 --> 00:24:17,556
Let's go, Dr. Melon.
I'm

564
00:24:17,556 --> 00:24:19,258
GLENCLIFF: Expecting great
things from you, Abner.

565
00:24:19,258 --> 00:24:20,526
The university
doesn't appreciate

566
00:24:20,526 --> 00:24:21,961
what an asset they have in you.

567
00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:23,395
Well, thank you very much.

568
00:24:23,395 --> 00:24:24,496
Now, if you should come
up with anything more--

569
00:24:24,496 --> 00:24:25,964
- Ernest, let go.
- --you be sure and call me.

570
00:24:25,964 --> 00:24:27,633
I'll have my girl
call your girl.

571
00:24:27,633 --> 00:24:29,234
We'll take a meeting.
We'll do lunch.

572
00:24:29,234 --> 00:24:30,436
Right now we're vapor trails.
- Excuse me.

573
00:24:30,436 --> 00:24:31,337
We're out of here.

574
00:24:31,337 --> 00:24:32,771
As they say in your
hobby, we're history.

575
00:24:32,771 --> 00:24:34,606
[LAUGHS]
- Sorry, doctor.

576
00:24:34,606 --> 00:24:36,108
Let's go, Abner.

577
00:24:36,108 --> 00:24:37,476
How could you do that?

578
00:24:37,476 --> 00:24:39,178
He's my only friend
on the board.

579
00:24:39,178 --> 00:24:41,146
Do you remember
when Indiana Jones

580
00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:44,116
grabbed the idol and the big
rock started rolling after him?

581
00:24:44,116 --> 00:24:46,285
I think we've got that same
kind of situation here.

582
00:24:46,285 --> 00:24:49,788
[CRACKLING]

583
00:24:57,096 --> 00:24:59,999
[BIRDS CHIRPING]

584
00:24:59,999 --> 00:25:01,667
This neighborhood looks like--

585
00:25:01,667 --> 00:25:03,435
--a Mighty Workboy
neighborhood.

586
00:25:03,435 --> 00:25:04,336
Look.

587
00:25:04,336 --> 00:25:05,237
FRANK: A customer.

588
00:25:05,237 --> 00:25:06,338
JOE: A doctor.

589
00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:09,641
A good customer.

590
00:25:09,641 --> 00:25:10,976
A real--
- --good--

591
00:25:10,976 --> 00:25:11,877
--customer.

592
00:25:11,877 --> 00:25:12,611
BOOK: (SINGING) I
am Mighty Workboy,

593
00:25:12,611 --> 00:25:13,712
and I will work for you.

594
00:25:13,712 --> 00:25:15,814
I do upholstery and
watch it as a I do.

595
00:25:15,814 --> 00:25:16,715
I'm the Mighty Workboy.

596
00:25:16,715 --> 00:25:17,916
I work for all I do--

597
00:25:17,916 --> 00:25:19,618
- Good morning, ma'am.
- Fine morning.

598
00:25:19,618 --> 00:25:20,519
Nice car.

599
00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:21,420
Pay cash?

600
00:25:21,420 --> 00:25:23,322
You know, unless this is
the cure for the common cold,

601
00:25:23,322 --> 00:25:24,857
fellas, I'm afraid
you're wasting your time.

602
00:25:24,857 --> 00:25:26,725
[LAUGHTER]

603
00:25:26,725 --> 00:25:28,427
Ma'am, we are just so
terribly pleased to be

604
00:25:28,427 --> 00:25:29,661
able to offer you the amazing--

605
00:25:29,661 --> 00:25:31,797
--Mighty Workboy
vacuum cleaner.

606
00:25:31,797 --> 00:25:32,765
For only $22.

607
00:25:32,765 --> 00:25:33,699
And 75 cents.

608
00:25:33,699 --> 00:25:35,334
$22.00?

609
00:25:35,334 --> 00:25:37,202
BOTH: And 75 cents.

610
00:25:37,202 --> 00:25:38,804
- Really.
- No strings attached.

611
00:25:38,804 --> 00:25:39,705
Really?

612
00:25:39,705 --> 00:25:41,340
Ooh, and such a good price?

613
00:25:41,340 --> 00:25:43,375
Although there is a
small financing charge.

614
00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:44,676
- And carrying cost.
- Plus cord.

615
00:25:44,676 --> 00:25:45,711
- And the motor.
- Handle.

616
00:25:45,711 --> 00:25:46,612
And attachments.

617
00:25:46,612 --> 00:25:48,213
And taken together
with the price of--

618
00:25:48,213 --> 00:25:49,581
- The cute little headlight.
- Wheels.

619
00:25:49,581 --> 00:25:50,616
And the dirt container bag.

620
00:25:50,616 --> 00:25:52,851
And of course, the
amazing Mighty Workboy--

621
00:25:52,851 --> 00:25:54,787
--bug fogger.
It comes to a total of 235--

622
00:25:54,787 --> 00:25:56,155
- --dollars--
- --and 16--

623
00:25:56,155 --> 00:25:57,055
--cents.

624
00:25:57,055 --> 00:25:58,057
And that's American money.

625
00:25:58,057 --> 00:25:59,258
Well, good luck to you both.

626
00:25:59,258 --> 00:26:00,559
Yeah--

627
00:26:00,559 --> 00:26:01,894
- That's our only--
- --copy.

628
00:26:01,894 --> 00:26:02,861
- Get it.
- Can't.

629
00:26:02,861 --> 00:26:03,929
- Get it.
- Can't.

630
00:26:03,929 --> 00:26:04,663
- Get it.
- Can't.

631
00:26:04,663 --> 00:26:05,831
- Get it.
- Can't.

632
00:26:05,831 --> 00:26:06,832
Get it.
Stuck!

633
00:26:06,832 --> 00:26:08,100
Really?

634
00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:09,902
NAN: Abner?

635
00:26:09,902 --> 00:26:11,270
Honey?

636
00:26:11,270 --> 00:26:12,571
Guess what I bought?

637
00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:14,273
It just spoke to me.

638
00:26:14,273 --> 00:26:16,074
- Not more clothes.
- Oh, it's such a good move.

639
00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:18,043
Nan, I thought I told you
that we can't afford any more--

640
00:26:18,043 --> 00:26:21,046
No, that new car I've been
wishing and dreaming for.

641
00:26:21,046 --> 00:26:23,749
- A car?
- Mhm.

642
00:26:23,749 --> 00:26:24,683
A new one?

643
00:26:24,683 --> 00:26:25,984
Well, of course, dear.

644
00:26:25,984 --> 00:26:27,319
A new car?

645
00:26:27,319 --> 00:26:28,387
On what I make?

646
00:26:28,387 --> 00:26:29,955
Abner, don't yell at me.

647
00:26:29,955 --> 00:26:31,990
You're a well-respected
university professor,

648
00:26:31,990 --> 00:26:32,891
and I'm your loving wife.

649
00:26:32,891 --> 00:26:34,626
I just knew you wouldn't
want me to go to the Dean's

650
00:26:34,626 --> 00:26:36,662
tee in that rickety
beat-up old Dodge Dart now

651
00:26:36,662 --> 00:26:39,832
would you, honey?

652
00:26:39,832 --> 00:26:41,233
And this spring,
of course, we'll

653
00:26:41,233 --> 00:26:43,235
be invited to the
Chancellor's Easter Egg hunt.

654
00:26:43,235 --> 00:26:44,837
Now we can arrive in style.

655
00:26:44,837 --> 00:26:47,973
So how'd it go today
the Board of Regents?

656
00:26:47,973 --> 00:26:49,408
Did they like your article?

657
00:26:49,408 --> 00:26:50,309
Hmm?

658
00:26:50,309 --> 00:26:51,777
Uh, they-- um--

659
00:26:51,777 --> 00:26:53,645
They what?

660
00:26:53,645 --> 00:26:55,581
Well, they were, uh,
somewhat reluctant.

661
00:26:55,581 --> 00:26:56,482
I-- I would say.

662
00:26:56,482 --> 00:26:57,816
You embarrassed me
again, didn't you?

663
00:26:57,816 --> 00:26:59,051
No, no, no, no.
I didn't, Nan.

664
00:26:59,051 --> 00:26:59,952
I--

665
00:26:59,952 --> 00:27:01,920
Mm, you brought up that
theory again, didn't you?

666
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:03,889
Maybe a little bit at
first, I brought it up look.

667
00:27:03,889 --> 00:27:04,790
But look, look.

668
00:27:04,790 --> 00:27:06,558
Ernest found a cannon
plate at Fairway Estates

669
00:27:06,558 --> 00:27:07,459
in the subdivision.

670
00:27:07,459 --> 00:27:08,794
Ernest?

671
00:27:08,794 --> 00:27:11,296
Abner, how many times have
I told you never to be seen

672
00:27:11,296 --> 00:27:13,432
socializing with that bonehead?

673
00:27:13,432 --> 00:27:14,766
Now, you're a
professor of standing.

674
00:27:14,766 --> 00:27:16,835
You will ruin our
sterling reputation.

675
00:27:16,835 --> 00:27:19,071
But I think he's made a
pretty incredible discovery.

676
00:27:19,071 --> 00:27:22,174
Now, you keep your little
discoveries to yourself.

677
00:27:22,174 --> 00:27:23,675
Especially when that
Ernest is involved,

678
00:27:23,675 --> 00:27:25,477
and everything'll be just fine.

679
00:27:25,477 --> 00:27:26,712
Your tenure will
lock in our future

680
00:27:26,712 --> 00:27:28,046
and we will have
nothing to worry about.

681
00:27:28,046 --> 00:27:28,947
OK?

682
00:27:28,947 --> 00:27:30,315
Tell me I'm pretty.

683
00:27:30,315 --> 00:27:31,216
Pretty.

684
00:27:31,216 --> 00:27:34,186
Gimme a kiss.

685
00:27:34,186 --> 00:27:35,687
Really hate that tie, dear.
Really do.

686
00:27:35,687 --> 00:27:36,588
Ooh, yummy.

687
00:27:40,926 --> 00:27:41,860
[SIGHS]

688
00:27:41,860 --> 00:27:45,230
[BIRDS CHIRPING]

689
00:27:46,198 --> 00:27:48,166
Hey, so what's next?

690
00:27:48,166 --> 00:27:51,603
A press release. (AS REPORTER)
New find proves lost regiment.

691
00:27:51,603 --> 00:27:53,705
Hey, "The Enquirer"
will call for sure.

692
00:27:53,705 --> 00:27:56,041
"Nightline,"
"Unsolved Mysteries."

693
00:27:56,041 --> 00:27:58,577
If it's sweets week, we might
even get to meet Madonna.

694
00:27:58,577 --> 00:27:59,912
Oh now, Ernest, please.

695
00:27:59,912 --> 00:28:00,812
Hold on.

696
00:28:00,812 --> 00:28:03,715
We should go to DC and
talk to those Smithsonians.

697
00:28:03,715 --> 00:28:06,351
Now, there's a family that
knows a lot about old stuff.

698
00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:08,387
No, Ernest, you
go back to your job.

699
00:28:08,387 --> 00:28:09,321
I go back to mine.

700
00:28:09,321 --> 00:28:10,222
We do nothing.

701
00:28:10,222 --> 00:28:11,356
Boy, aren't we a team?

702
00:28:11,356 --> 00:28:12,624
And what about that Goliath.

703
00:28:12,624 --> 00:28:14,726
Don't you just love big cannons?

704
00:28:14,726 --> 00:28:16,862
Taking those big wire brushes
and running them up and down

705
00:28:16,862 --> 00:28:17,763
that barrel?

706
00:28:17,763 --> 00:28:18,697
Please, Ernest,
enough with the cannon!

707
00:28:18,697 --> 00:28:18,997
Enough!

708
00:28:18,997 --> 00:28:20,699
If I even mention
my theory again,

709
00:28:20,699 --> 00:28:23,402
the university will lock me
up and throw away the key.

710
00:28:23,402 --> 00:28:27,372
Come on, Dr. Melon, through a
stroke of incredibly dumb luck,

711
00:28:27,372 --> 00:28:29,808
you have the chance to
have a 40-pound adventure

712
00:28:29,808 --> 00:28:31,910
on a 5-pound test line.

713
00:28:31,910 --> 00:28:33,712
So what do you say, huh?
What do you say?

714
00:28:33,712 --> 00:28:35,180
You got something on your tie.
- Huh?

715
00:28:35,180 --> 00:28:35,781
Gotcha.
[LAUGHS]

716
00:28:35,781 --> 00:28:37,015
Ernest!
I hate that!

717
00:28:37,015 --> 00:28:38,050
Do you think that's clever?!

718
00:28:38,050 --> 00:28:39,351
Because I don't
think it's funny!

719
00:28:39,351 --> 00:28:40,252
Look at me!

720
00:28:40,252 --> 00:28:42,254
I'm not laughing!
See?

721
00:28:42,254 --> 00:28:43,889
I'm sorry, Dr. Melon.

722
00:28:43,889 --> 00:28:46,692
I-- I was just trying
to cheer you up.

723
00:28:46,692 --> 00:28:48,226
Ernest, don't bother!

724
00:28:48,226 --> 00:28:49,394
Please!

725
00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:51,063
Dreaming of finding
Goliath was nothing more

726
00:28:51,063 --> 00:28:54,633
than a fiction, a soap bubble.

727
00:28:54,633 --> 00:28:56,768
Nobody believes my theory.

728
00:28:56,768 --> 00:28:59,137
I'm not even sure I do anymore.

729
00:28:59,137 --> 00:29:01,239
Well, I have faith
in you, Dr. Melon.

730
00:29:01,239 --> 00:29:04,743
[MUSIC PLAYING]

731
00:29:08,647 --> 00:29:10,716
Just my luck.

732
00:29:10,716 --> 00:29:13,585
Ernest P. Worrell
is my only ally.

733
00:29:13,585 --> 00:29:16,955
As the day is long.

734
00:29:16,955 --> 00:29:18,123
Really?

735
00:29:18,123 --> 00:29:20,826
Really.

736
00:29:20,826 --> 00:29:22,461
So what's it going to be, huh?

737
00:29:22,461 --> 00:29:24,496
Is it to going to be (IMITATES
STUDENT) Oh, Dr. Melon,

738
00:29:24,496 --> 00:29:25,998
I forgot my homework.

739
00:29:25,998 --> 00:29:28,934
Oh, do I have to
take that test again?

740
00:29:28,934 --> 00:29:30,535
My foot's asleep.

741
00:29:30,535 --> 00:29:36,375
Or are we going to walk over to
that car, roll those big dice,

742
00:29:36,375 --> 00:29:38,910
never mind the
consequences, come what may,

743
00:29:38,910 --> 00:29:41,079
the sky's the limit
for adventure.

744
00:29:41,079 --> 00:29:42,748
Come on, we're a
team, aren't we?

745
00:29:42,748 --> 00:29:43,649
Aren't we?

746
00:29:43,649 --> 00:29:45,584
Stanley and Livingston?

747
00:29:45,584 --> 00:29:47,285
Lewis and Clark?

748
00:29:47,285 --> 00:29:48,954
Sonny and Cher?

749
00:29:48,954 --> 00:29:50,022
Worrell and Melon?

750
00:29:50,022 --> 00:29:51,089
- Melon are Worrell?
- Yes!

751
00:29:51,089 --> 00:29:51,990
Yes!

752
00:29:51,990 --> 00:29:53,258
We're going to tie one on!

753
00:29:53,258 --> 00:29:54,159
Tear one loose!

754
00:29:54,159 --> 00:29:55,360
Rip one off!

755
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,062
- Muckle onto some antlers!
- Yes!

756
00:29:57,062 --> 00:29:58,063
- Yes!
- Yes!

757
00:29:58,063 --> 00:30:00,098
No!

758
00:30:00,098 --> 00:30:01,733
I have to teach a class.

759
00:30:01,733 --> 00:30:03,201
I'd have to have the
brain of a six-year-old

760
00:30:03,201 --> 00:30:05,437
to even consider it.

761
00:30:05,437 --> 00:30:06,638
Ready when you are.

762
00:30:06,638 --> 00:30:07,572
[LAUGHS]

763
00:30:09,007 --> 00:30:09,975
OK!

764
00:30:09,975 --> 00:30:11,109
But I'll drive!

765
00:30:11,109 --> 00:30:13,512
Nan's insurance is very
specific on that point!

766
00:30:13,512 --> 00:30:15,981
Gosh, I never get
to drive new cars.

767
00:30:15,981 --> 00:30:17,849
Can I just take it out
of the parking space?

768
00:30:17,849 --> 00:30:20,952
GLENCLIFF: Finally,
direct evidence.

769
00:30:20,952 --> 00:30:24,122
Computer access the
Oxford Historical Library.

770
00:30:24,122 --> 00:30:26,158
I want to know everything there
is to know about King George

771
00:30:26,158 --> 00:30:29,027
III, the crown jewels,
the Green Mountain

772
00:30:29,027 --> 00:30:32,698
Regulars and a pre-Revolutionary
War siege cannon named Goliath.

773
00:30:32,698 --> 00:30:34,866
If we start the research,
we may be exposed.

774
00:30:34,866 --> 00:30:37,502
What we need is an
alias, or a buffer.

775
00:30:37,502 --> 00:30:43,475
Use J. Quentin
University, Dr. Abner Melon.

776
00:30:43,475 --> 00:30:46,978
[BRITISH MUSIC PLAYING]

777
00:30:48,947 --> 00:30:52,317
[SPY MUSIC PLAYING]

778
00:31:01,493 --> 00:31:03,695
This information just
came through from the Oxford

779
00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:04,596
Library, sir.

780
00:31:04,596 --> 00:31:07,866
They thought you needed to
be notified straight away.

781
00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:09,167
Hmm.

782
00:31:09,167 --> 00:31:13,205
Well, well, after a silence
of more than 200 years,

783
00:31:13,205 --> 00:31:15,807
someone is finally
poking their nose about.

784
00:31:15,807 --> 00:31:17,242
The Goliath, sir?

785
00:31:17,242 --> 00:31:19,845
And perhaps, the Crown Jewels.

786
00:31:19,845 --> 00:31:21,480
You know what this means
for Britain, don't you?

787
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:22,714
I'm afraid so sir.

788
00:31:22,714 --> 00:31:24,716
A change in the status quo.

789
00:31:28,587 --> 00:31:29,554
Whew.

790
00:31:29,554 --> 00:31:31,356
New car smell.
Boy.

791
00:31:31,356 --> 00:31:32,991
- This is where you found it?
- Yeah.

792
00:31:32,991 --> 00:31:34,926
I found it in that construction
site, right over there.

793
00:31:34,926 --> 00:31:37,796
[CHATTER]

794
00:31:37,796 --> 00:31:39,364
Then what are we
doing sitting here?

795
00:31:39,364 --> 00:31:41,032
Well, now's not a good time.

796
00:31:41,032 --> 00:31:42,334
Uh, Makita warriors.

797
00:31:42,334 --> 00:31:43,235
What?

798
00:31:43,235 --> 00:31:44,269
Shh.

799
00:31:44,269 --> 00:31:46,238
Well, it was certainly the
right time when you pulled

800
00:31:46,238 --> 00:31:47,806
me away from my classroom.

801
00:31:47,806 --> 00:31:49,307
Hey, lunch guys.

802
00:31:49,307 --> 00:31:52,144
[CHATTER]

803
00:31:53,044 --> 00:31:56,047
OK, now's a good time.
Let's go.

804
00:31:56,047 --> 00:31:57,916
Roll up the window.

805
00:31:57,916 --> 00:31:58,817
Lock the door.

806
00:32:01,753 --> 00:32:04,055
And don't slam it.

807
00:32:04,055 --> 00:32:05,390
You slammed it!
- Shh.

808
00:32:05,390 --> 00:32:06,758
Makita warriors.

809
00:32:06,758 --> 00:32:07,659
Makita warriors.

810
00:32:07,659 --> 00:32:11,029
It's expensive.

811
00:32:11,029 --> 00:32:12,497
[BUZZING]

812
00:32:12,497 --> 00:32:15,200
ERNEST: Man oh man, you should
have been with me the day

813
00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:16,668
I found Cleopatra's
crystal skull.

814
00:32:16,668 --> 00:32:17,569
Mhm.

815
00:32:17,569 --> 00:32:19,504
That was a red-letter
day to remember.

816
00:32:19,504 --> 00:32:22,674
The Tencholocator 2000-C
is the world's greatest

817
00:32:22,674 --> 00:32:23,975
finding device.
[BEEPS]

818
00:32:23,975 --> 00:32:26,711
It eliminates any unnecessary
digging for worthless objects.

819
00:32:26,711 --> 00:32:27,712
Ow!

820
00:32:27,712 --> 00:32:29,848
I had a finding device once.

821
00:32:29,848 --> 00:32:30,816
I lost it.

822
00:32:30,816 --> 00:32:33,685
Doesn't seem to be turning
up any evidence of a cannon.

823
00:32:33,685 --> 00:32:36,922
Well, maybe I should just look
for it the old-fashioned way.

824
00:32:36,922 --> 00:32:38,190
Oh, I have the
utmost confidence

825
00:32:38,190 --> 00:32:39,124
in the Tencho, Ernest.

826
00:32:39,124 --> 00:32:42,160
Any other method would
be entirely superfluous.

827
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:45,764
Abner, listen to the
voice of experience.

828
00:32:45,764 --> 00:32:46,731
[CRACKING]

829
00:32:46,731 --> 00:32:48,733
[SCREAMS]

830
00:32:48,733 --> 00:32:49,734
[GROANS]

831
00:32:49,734 --> 00:32:51,203
Ernest, are you dead?

832
00:32:51,203 --> 00:32:52,737
[GROANS]

833
00:32:52,737 --> 00:32:55,607
Well, I guess I would be
if I weren't just that close

834
00:32:55,607 --> 00:32:57,375
to being an actual cartoon.

835
00:32:57,375 --> 00:32:58,476
- Oh.
- Oh.

836
00:32:58,476 --> 00:32:59,845
Ouch.
- What is it?

837
00:32:59,845 --> 00:33:00,745
What?

838
00:33:00,745 --> 00:33:01,980
Ow.

839
00:33:01,980 --> 00:33:03,548
Swing your detector over here.

840
00:33:03,548 --> 00:33:04,983
[BEEPING]

841
00:33:04,983 --> 00:33:06,918
ABNER: Some sort of
round metal object.

842
00:33:06,918 --> 00:33:07,886
A hubcap?

843
00:33:07,886 --> 00:33:09,421
Its density is too
high for a hubcap.

844
00:33:09,421 --> 00:33:10,322
Hmm.

845
00:33:13,191 --> 00:33:14,192
[GASPS]

846
00:33:14,192 --> 00:33:15,193
It's a cannonball.

847
00:33:15,193 --> 00:33:16,094
A can--

848
00:33:16,094 --> 00:33:17,395
A-- a real cannonball, Abner.

849
00:33:17,395 --> 00:33:18,530
A really, really,
real cannonball.

850
00:33:18,530 --> 00:33:19,431
Yes.

851
00:33:19,431 --> 00:33:21,266
Not the cannonball
you did in the pool

852
00:33:21,266 --> 00:33:23,468
when your sister was wearing
her graduation dress, no.

853
00:33:23,468 --> 00:33:27,405
A real boom-boom cannonball, the
kind they used to use to storm

854
00:33:27,405 --> 00:33:28,573
mighty fortresses and--

855
00:33:28,573 --> 00:33:30,075
Ernest?
Dig.

856
00:33:30,075 --> 00:33:31,409
Oh, right.
Right.

857
00:33:31,409 --> 00:33:32,777
Ow.
Hey!

858
00:33:32,777 --> 00:33:33,712
Hey!
Hey!

859
00:33:33,712 --> 00:33:34,613
Ow!

860
00:33:34,613 --> 00:33:36,815
Ernest!

861
00:33:36,815 --> 00:33:37,782
[SIGHS]

862
00:33:37,782 --> 00:33:41,253
[HUMMING]

863
00:33:45,223 --> 00:33:48,193
(SINGING) Didn't
really wanna--

864
00:33:48,193 --> 00:33:52,130
you-- Abner, you didn't.

865
00:33:52,130 --> 00:33:56,134
Darling, it's my
car, not our car.

866
00:33:56,134 --> 00:33:57,502
Where is my car?!

867
00:33:57,502 --> 00:34:00,939
[MUSIC PLAYING]

868
00:34:08,413 --> 00:34:09,314
Stop the car!

869
00:34:09,314 --> 00:34:10,181
[TIRES SQUEAL]

870
00:34:10,181 --> 00:34:11,283
Hey!

871
00:34:11,283 --> 00:34:12,918
Take me to the university now.

872
00:34:12,918 --> 00:34:14,786
This is an emergency.

873
00:34:14,786 --> 00:34:15,887
Opportunity knocks--

874
00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:17,689
- --more than once--
- --whenever your work--

875
00:34:17,689 --> 00:34:18,590
--the neighborhood.

876
00:34:18,590 --> 00:34:19,524
[LAUGHTER]

877
00:34:19,524 --> 00:34:20,892
BOTH: Well, hello.

878
00:34:20,892 --> 00:34:22,694
- Move it.
- Oh!

879
00:34:22,694 --> 00:34:24,195
You're sitting on
my loose change!

880
00:34:24,195 --> 00:34:25,130
Ah, quiet.

881
00:34:25,130 --> 00:34:26,998
Give it to the homeless.

882
00:34:26,998 --> 00:34:28,400
[CAR BACKFIRES]

883
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:31,269
From the markings on this
ball and it's unusual size,

884
00:34:31,269 --> 00:34:34,039
there is no doubt in my mind
it was fired from the Goliath,

885
00:34:34,039 --> 00:34:35,774
the largest cannon ever cast.

886
00:34:35,774 --> 00:34:39,811
Made at the Delacroix Foundry
in [INAUDIBLE], France, in 1727.

887
00:34:39,811 --> 00:34:42,013
I can start a fire with
that magnifying glass.

888
00:34:42,013 --> 00:34:42,914
Roll it over.

889
00:34:42,914 --> 00:34:44,182
Roll it over.

890
00:34:44,182 --> 00:34:47,452
The Goliath fired a maximum
load of 18.9 kilograms

891
00:34:47,452 --> 00:34:48,620
of black powder.

892
00:34:48,620 --> 00:34:51,723
A ball of this diameter and mass
would have an effective range

893
00:34:51,723 --> 00:34:53,525
of 1,300 yards.

894
00:34:53,525 --> 00:34:55,594
You didn't cut a lot of
classes in school did you?

895
00:34:55,594 --> 00:34:59,097
From the striations on those
rocks there, it's obvious.

896
00:34:59,097 --> 00:35:00,632
The shot was fired
from that grassy knoll.

897
00:35:00,632 --> 00:35:01,533
Yeah.

898
00:35:01,533 --> 00:35:03,034
I never believed that
Warren guy anyway.

899
00:35:03,034 --> 00:35:03,935
Did you?

900
00:35:07,172 --> 00:35:08,473
Makita warriors!
- What?

901
00:35:08,473 --> 00:35:09,774
Run, Dr. Melon!
Run!

902
00:35:09,774 --> 00:35:10,675
Whoa!
Where?

903
00:35:10,675 --> 00:35:11,576
Away!

904
00:35:13,745 --> 00:35:18,183
Chow mein, chopped
suey, sweet and sour--

905
00:35:18,183 --> 00:35:21,686
[MUSIC PLAYING]

906
00:35:21,686 --> 00:35:25,623
[WOOD CRACKING]

907
00:35:28,627 --> 00:35:29,594
Wait--

908
00:35:29,594 --> 00:35:33,064
[CRACKING]

909
00:35:38,036 --> 00:35:39,904
- I left my detector!
- Me too!

910
00:35:39,904 --> 00:35:40,805
But it was a Tencho!

911
00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:42,540
Mine was an 11-cho!

912
00:35:42,540 --> 00:35:43,641
But why are we running?

913
00:35:43,641 --> 00:35:45,910
Because our legs are
moving very, very fast!

914
00:35:45,910 --> 00:35:46,911
Oh.

915
00:35:46,911 --> 00:35:47,812
Open the door, Dr. Melon.

916
00:35:47,812 --> 00:35:49,180
Open the door.
- Let me see.

917
00:35:49,180 --> 00:35:50,582
That one's for the ignition.
This is for the--

918
00:35:50,582 --> 00:35:51,983
Unlock the door!
unlock the door!

919
00:35:51,983 --> 00:35:52,884
Unlock the door!

920
00:35:52,884 --> 00:35:54,853
If I scratch the paint,
Nan will have a fit.

921
00:35:54,853 --> 00:35:56,254
How's she going to
feel about scraping

922
00:35:56,254 --> 00:35:58,156
your brains off the hood?

923
00:35:58,156 --> 00:36:00,825
Good point.

924
00:36:00,825 --> 00:36:02,560
It's him!

925
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:04,262
Get him!

926
00:36:04,262 --> 00:36:06,398
The one in the
ball cap's mine.

927
00:36:06,398 --> 00:36:07,866
ABNER: Watch the
door handle, Ernest.

928
00:36:07,866 --> 00:36:09,234
Ah!
ABNER: Thank you.

929
00:36:09,234 --> 00:36:10,568
[MEN SHOUTING]
[ENGINE STARTS]

930
00:36:10,568 --> 00:36:11,803
Let's move!
Come on!

931
00:36:11,803 --> 00:36:12,404
Let's go!
Let's go!

932
00:36:12,404 --> 00:36:14,606
I have to let
it warm up first.

933
00:36:14,606 --> 00:36:16,875
Oh!

934
00:36:16,875 --> 00:36:18,877
[ENGINE REVS]

935
00:36:18,877 --> 00:36:19,844
ABNER: Whoa!

936
00:36:19,844 --> 00:36:23,782
[MEN SHOUTING]

937
00:36:23,782 --> 00:36:26,751
ERNEST: Aim for the big ones.

938
00:36:26,751 --> 00:36:28,219
Be a moving target.

939
00:36:28,219 --> 00:36:29,120
ABNER: Oh!

940
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:31,222
You guys are in trouble
when my wife finds out!

941
00:36:31,222 --> 00:36:32,824
She's definitely--

942
00:36:32,824 --> 00:36:34,125
--taking the bait.

943
00:36:34,125 --> 00:36:35,760
Now all we have to do is--

944
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:37,762
BOTH: --reel her in.

945
00:36:37,762 --> 00:36:39,998
[LAUGHTER]

946
00:36:39,998 --> 00:36:41,933
Well, Abner is not here.

947
00:36:41,933 --> 00:36:43,068
I just know he's
with that Ernest,

948
00:36:43,068 --> 00:36:44,569
looking for some
imaginary cannon.

949
00:36:44,569 --> 00:36:45,603
Did we mention--
[GRUNTS]

950
00:36:45,603 --> 00:36:47,072
- --the Mighty Workboy--
- --is ideal--

951
00:36:47,072 --> 00:36:48,173
--for cleaning
swimming pools--

952
00:36:48,173 --> 00:36:48,873
--septic tanks--

953
00:36:48,873 --> 00:36:49,774
--oil spills--

954
00:36:49,774 --> 00:36:51,276
--and other natural disasters?

955
00:36:51,276 --> 00:36:53,912
Is my nose bleeding?

956
00:36:53,912 --> 00:36:56,481
The Goliath had a
range of 3/4 of a mile.

957
00:36:56,481 --> 00:36:57,849
So it's got to be
around here somewhere.

958
00:36:57,849 --> 00:37:01,319
[MUSIC PLAYING]

959
00:37:10,795 --> 00:37:12,897
Hey.

960
00:37:12,897 --> 00:37:14,299
Isn't this one of
those little lizards

961
00:37:14,299 --> 00:37:18,503
that when the tail falls off,
it can grow another lizard?

962
00:37:18,503 --> 00:37:20,972
Oh, what am I doing here?

963
00:37:20,972 --> 00:37:22,741
How did I let you
convince me that Goliath

964
00:37:22,741 --> 00:37:24,576
could be anywhere around here?

965
00:37:24,576 --> 00:37:26,377
Oh I know, it's obvious.

966
00:37:26,377 --> 00:37:27,712
I must be losing my mind.

967
00:37:27,712 --> 00:37:31,216
What I want to know is,
when it does lose its tail,

968
00:37:31,216 --> 00:37:33,651
does it grow one back
real fast like, overnight?

969
00:37:33,651 --> 00:37:37,255
Or does it take a couple weeks?

970
00:37:37,255 --> 00:37:43,094
I'm a well-read, intelligent,
literate man with two PhDs.

971
00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:46,531
So how is it I'm on a wild
goose chase with a refugee

972
00:37:46,531 --> 00:37:48,299
from "Sesame Street?"

973
00:37:48,299 --> 00:37:51,836
Gosh, going two weeks without
a tail would be tough.

974
00:37:51,836 --> 00:37:52,737
That's it.

975
00:37:52,737 --> 00:37:54,139
Forget it.
I'm finished.

976
00:37:54,139 --> 00:37:55,406
No more, Ernest.

977
00:37:55,406 --> 00:37:57,942
It's probably not here anyway.

978
00:37:57,942 --> 00:37:59,344
We're just wasting time.

979
00:38:02,814 --> 00:38:06,751
Oh, is your
little nest in here?

980
00:38:06,751 --> 00:38:08,253
Hello?

981
00:38:08,253 --> 00:38:11,156
(ECHOES) Hello?

982
00:38:11,156 --> 00:38:13,591
Dr. Melon, come up here.

983
00:38:13,591 --> 00:38:14,959
You've got to hear this.

984
00:38:14,959 --> 00:38:16,394
It's really neat.

985
00:38:16,394 --> 00:38:19,097
Herpetology is not
my field, Ernest.

986
00:38:22,167 --> 00:38:28,706
(ECHOING) Budd, Shackleton,
Perry, don't worry lads.

987
00:38:28,706 --> 00:38:32,310
We're going to lower a line
down into the ice cave!

988
00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:35,880
And you'll be up here with
us in now time, sipping tea,

989
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:37,916
before you can say Jack B--

990
00:38:37,916 --> 00:38:39,684
[ECHOING SCREAMS]

991
00:38:39,684 --> 00:38:40,585
Ernest!

992
00:38:43,521 --> 00:38:44,522
[WINCING]

993
00:38:44,522 --> 00:38:45,423
Ouch.

994
00:38:53,364 --> 00:38:55,700
That little lizard's got to
be around here somewhere.

995
00:38:55,700 --> 00:38:56,701
[CREAKING]

996
00:38:56,701 --> 00:38:57,602
Are you all right?

997
00:38:59,704 --> 00:39:00,672
[CLANG]
- Oh!

998
00:39:00,672 --> 00:39:01,573
Ow!

999
00:39:01,573 --> 00:39:03,208
Is there anything there?

1000
00:39:03,208 --> 00:39:04,742
Did you find something?

1001
00:39:07,712 --> 00:39:09,180
No.

1002
00:39:09,180 --> 00:39:11,316
There's nothing down here.

1003
00:39:11,316 --> 00:39:14,219
Ouch.

1004
00:39:14,219 --> 00:39:17,088
We came so close
to catching them.

1005
00:39:17,088 --> 00:39:18,289
They took off up there.
- Thank you.

1006
00:39:18,289 --> 00:39:19,190
Thank you.

1007
00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:20,592
We'll send somebody
by to pick it up.

1008
00:39:20,592 --> 00:39:21,492
OK.

1009
00:39:23,595 --> 00:39:24,495
Oh!

1010
00:39:24,495 --> 00:39:27,298
[LAUGHS]

1011
00:39:27,298 --> 00:39:29,033
Oh, it actually exists!

1012
00:39:29,033 --> 00:39:30,635
Oh, I can't believe it.

1013
00:39:30,635 --> 00:39:32,237
Look at the size of it.

1014
00:39:32,237 --> 00:39:33,938
Oh, oh, it's true.

1015
00:39:33,938 --> 00:39:36,441
All my theories are true.

1016
00:39:36,441 --> 00:39:38,676
Oh, oh, look, look, look!

1017
00:39:38,676 --> 00:39:40,678
The fuse is even still intact!

1018
00:39:40,678 --> 00:39:42,981
Oh, those irregulars must
have left in an awful hurry.

1019
00:39:42,981 --> 00:39:45,450
I was irregular once.

1020
00:39:45,450 --> 00:39:46,618
Oh, it's too tight.

1021
00:39:46,618 --> 00:39:47,719
I can't get in to see.

1022
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:50,154
(WITH ACCENT) Well,
Dr. Jones, I see

1023
00:39:50,154 --> 00:39:52,390
you have found the arc for us.

1024
00:39:52,390 --> 00:39:53,291
[LAUGHS]

1025
00:39:53,291 --> 00:39:55,526
Give your adventure
delusions a rest for a second

1026
00:39:55,526 --> 00:39:56,561
and give me your hand.

1027
00:39:56,561 --> 00:39:58,296
No problemo.

1028
00:39:58,296 --> 00:39:59,597
I'll just move this chalk.

1029
00:39:59,597 --> 00:40:00,632
ABNER: What are you doing?

1030
00:40:00,632 --> 00:40:01,633
Don't.

1031
00:40:01,633 --> 00:40:03,701
And roll it back for you.

1032
00:40:03,701 --> 00:40:08,206
ABNER: Oh, be careful, Ernest.

1033
00:40:08,206 --> 00:40:11,643
(WITH ACCENT) You know,
June, I'm sure glad that cobra

1034
00:40:11,643 --> 00:40:13,211
venom didn't zap my strength.

1035
00:40:13,211 --> 00:40:14,712
I don't mind
telling you, Ernest,

1036
00:40:14,712 --> 00:40:16,281
that made me a little nervous.

1037
00:40:16,281 --> 00:40:18,416
(WITH ACCENT) Not
to worry, Zahib.

1038
00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:22,020
I had complete control of
the situation at all times.

1039
00:40:22,020 --> 00:40:23,721
Thanks for shopping with us.

1040
00:40:23,721 --> 00:40:25,023
[CREAKING]

1041
00:40:25,023 --> 00:40:25,990
It's going to go.

1042
00:40:25,990 --> 00:40:26,891
It's--

1043
00:40:26,891 --> 00:40:28,426
Hey, I can stop it.

1044
00:40:28,426 --> 00:40:29,861
[LAUGHS]

1045
00:40:31,829 --> 00:40:35,800
[SCREAMING]

1046
00:40:37,302 --> 00:40:40,772
[RUMBLING]

1047
00:40:43,241 --> 00:40:46,711
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1048
00:40:49,781 --> 00:40:50,682
No!

1049
00:40:50,682 --> 00:40:52,684
No!

1050
00:40:52,684 --> 00:40:54,252
[CRASHING]

1051
00:40:54,252 --> 00:40:55,153
Neat.

1052
00:40:59,123 --> 00:41:02,593
[BIRDS CHIRPING]

1053
00:41:02,593 --> 00:41:06,064
[SPY MUSIC PLAYING]

1054
00:41:22,013 --> 00:41:24,816
Why didn't I stay at school?

1055
00:41:24,816 --> 00:41:27,051
This is Nan's brand-new car.

1056
00:41:27,051 --> 00:41:29,187
Not anymore.

1057
00:41:29,187 --> 00:41:31,255
But hey, don't sweat it.

1058
00:41:31,255 --> 00:41:33,791
As soon as we get those
Crown Jewels out of there,

1059
00:41:33,791 --> 00:41:37,028
we'll just reach around, pluck
out a couple of diamonds,

1060
00:41:37,028 --> 00:41:39,097
and you can buy
her two new cars.

1061
00:41:39,097 --> 00:41:41,699
Just think of it,
his-and-her Humvee's.

1062
00:41:41,699 --> 00:41:43,534
Know what I mean?

1063
00:41:43,534 --> 00:41:46,004
Let's get to work.

1064
00:41:46,004 --> 00:41:47,939
I always wanted a Humvee.

1065
00:41:50,775 --> 00:41:54,112
It looks like there's some
leaves and mud and sticks

1066
00:41:54,112 --> 00:41:55,013
and stuff.

1067
00:41:55,013 --> 00:41:57,415
I-- I can't make
out exactly what.

1068
00:41:57,415 --> 00:41:59,016
Here.

1069
00:41:59,016 --> 00:42:01,652
Give me a toe up, and I'll
kind of scooch in here.

1070
00:42:01,652 --> 00:42:02,854
Yeah.

1071
00:42:02,854 --> 00:42:03,888
How'm I doing?

1072
00:42:03,888 --> 00:42:04,822
ERNEST: Dr. Melon?

1073
00:42:04,822 --> 00:42:06,457
Oh.

1074
00:42:06,457 --> 00:42:08,059
I'm not very good at
this toe-hold thing.

1075
00:42:08,059 --> 00:42:08,960
ERNEST: Push, doctor.

1076
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:09,861
Push.

1077
00:42:09,861 --> 00:42:12,630
[GRUNTING]

1078
00:42:12,630 --> 00:42:13,531
Push.

1079
00:42:13,531 --> 00:42:14,432
OK.

1080
00:42:14,432 --> 00:42:15,466
[GRUNTS]

1081
00:42:15,466 --> 00:42:17,301
ERNEST: Dr. Melon.

1082
00:42:17,301 --> 00:42:18,803
Dr. Melon, I'm stuck!

1083
00:42:18,803 --> 00:42:19,704
Pull me out!

1084
00:42:19,704 --> 00:42:22,006
I-- I could help you
if you'd just hold still.

1085
00:42:22,006 --> 00:42:23,007
Ugh!

1086
00:42:23,007 --> 00:42:24,208
ERNEST: Dr. Melon!

1087
00:42:24,208 --> 00:42:25,109
Dr. Melon?

1088
00:42:25,109 --> 00:42:29,046
You can pull me out
now if you want to.

1089
00:42:29,046 --> 00:42:30,448
Dr. Melon?

1090
00:42:30,448 --> 00:42:32,717
It's awful cramped in here.

1091
00:42:32,717 --> 00:42:36,654
I wouldn't mind at all if
you'd pull me out right now.

1092
00:42:36,654 --> 00:42:38,289
Dr. Melon?

1093
00:42:38,289 --> 00:42:40,992
There might be bugs in here!

1094
00:42:40,992 --> 00:42:42,760
Or vampires!

1095
00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:44,028
Or a dentist!

1096
00:42:44,028 --> 00:42:45,029
Dr. Melon!

1097
00:42:45,029 --> 00:42:46,030
Help!

1098
00:42:46,030 --> 00:42:48,533
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1099
00:42:48,533 --> 00:42:51,469
For the very last time,
gentlemen, I am not-- repeat--

1100
00:42:51,469 --> 00:42:54,806
not even a tiny bit interested
in buying, renting, or lease

1101
00:42:54,806 --> 00:42:56,240
purchasing a vacuum cleaner.

1102
00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:57,742
- Perhaps that's because--
- --you haven't seen--

1103
00:42:57,742 --> 00:42:58,643
--all the attachments.

1104
00:42:58,643 --> 00:42:59,977
Some are quite unique.

1105
00:42:59,977 --> 00:43:01,179
Watch the road.

1106
00:43:01,179 --> 00:43:02,246
Now, if you'll just
take a look at this,

1107
00:43:02,246 --> 00:43:02,947
I know you'll agree--

1108
00:43:02,947 --> 00:43:04,682
--that the Mighty Workboy
home-cleaning system--

1109
00:43:04,682 --> 00:43:05,817
--is simply the
most versatile--

1110
00:43:05,817 --> 00:43:06,651
--and the most economical--

1111
00:43:06,651 --> 00:43:08,019
--as well as the
most entertaining--

1112
00:43:08,019 --> 00:43:09,554
--combination vacuum cleaner--

1113
00:43:09,554 --> 00:43:10,755
--and video
cassette recorder--

1114
00:43:10,755 --> 00:43:12,056
- --on the market today.
- Try one.

1115
00:43:12,056 --> 00:43:13,257
- Ow!
- And they're cheap.

1116
00:43:13,257 --> 00:43:14,492
- Try two.
- Ow!

1117
00:43:14,492 --> 00:43:15,560
My kids are in private school.

1118
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:16,594
Shut up and drive.

1119
00:43:16,594 --> 00:43:19,997
We have got to find my husband.

1120
00:43:19,997 --> 00:43:21,165
What's that--

1121
00:43:21,165 --> 00:43:22,166
--smell?

1122
00:43:22,166 --> 00:43:23,034
Oh, do you like it?

1123
00:43:23,034 --> 00:43:24,135
It's called Night Chill.

1124
00:43:24,135 --> 00:43:25,570
[SNIFFS]

1125
00:43:25,570 --> 00:43:26,571
BOTH: Very nice.

1126
00:43:26,571 --> 00:43:28,039
- Thank you.
- Smells like--

1127
00:43:28,039 --> 00:43:28,940
--road kill.

1128
00:43:28,940 --> 00:43:32,410
[LAUGHTER]

1129
00:43:35,346 --> 00:43:36,814
ERNEST: Help!

1130
00:43:36,814 --> 00:43:38,282
Dr. Melon!

1131
00:43:38,282 --> 00:43:39,784
Pull me out!

1132
00:43:39,784 --> 00:43:42,520
Dr. Melon?

1133
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:43,754
Dr. Melon?

1134
00:43:43,754 --> 00:43:45,923
ERNEST: I'm real sorry if
I got you into hot water

1135
00:43:45,923 --> 00:43:47,625
with that fancy--
- Dr. Glencliff?

1136
00:43:47,625 --> 00:43:48,526
Oh.

1137
00:43:48,526 --> 00:43:49,994
ERNEST: --that
mummy was real old.

1138
00:43:49,994 --> 00:43:50,895
And--

1139
00:43:50,895 --> 00:43:52,964
Oh, what a pleasant surprise.

1140
00:43:52,964 --> 00:43:56,701
As you can see, (LAUGHING)
we have located Goliath.

1141
00:43:56,701 --> 00:43:57,902
Huh?

1142
00:43:57,902 --> 00:43:59,537
Dr. Melon?

1143
00:43:59,537 --> 00:44:02,874
Talking to yourself is not
a sign of mental stability.

1144
00:44:02,874 --> 00:44:05,042
Oh, Ernest, it's
Dr. Glencliff!

1145
00:44:05,042 --> 00:44:05,943
He's here to help us.

1146
00:44:05,943 --> 00:44:07,912
ERNEST: Dr. Melon?

1147
00:44:07,912 --> 00:44:10,648
[GRUNTING]

1148
00:44:10,648 --> 00:44:11,549
Ouch!

1149
00:44:11,549 --> 00:44:12,984
Ouch!

1150
00:44:12,984 --> 00:44:13,985
Oh!

1151
00:44:13,985 --> 00:44:14,986
[GRUNTING]

1152
00:44:14,986 --> 00:44:16,087
Ow!

1153
00:44:16,087 --> 00:44:17,555
He's-- he's stuck, doctor.

1154
00:44:17,555 --> 00:44:20,324
We'll take it to the
clinic and cut him out there.

1155
00:44:20,324 --> 00:44:21,726
Well, you can't cut Goliath.

1156
00:44:21,726 --> 00:44:23,027
It's a priceless relic.

1157
00:44:23,027 --> 00:44:26,330
Who said anything
about cutting Goliath?

1158
00:44:26,330 --> 00:44:27,665
[LAUGHS]

1159
00:44:27,665 --> 00:44:30,968
Oh, oh, good
joke, Dr. Glencliff.

1160
00:44:30,968 --> 00:44:33,004
Humor's a little
dark for my taste.

1161
00:44:33,004 --> 00:44:34,238
But as I say, to each his own.

1162
00:44:34,238 --> 00:44:35,139
Huh?

1163
00:44:35,139 --> 00:44:36,641
[LAUGHS]

1164
00:44:36,641 --> 00:44:37,542
I'm laughing.

1165
00:44:37,542 --> 00:44:38,442
See?

1166
00:44:38,442 --> 00:44:40,178
[LAUGHS]

1167
00:44:40,178 --> 00:44:42,046
Oh, you're not joking, are you?

1168
00:44:42,046 --> 00:44:45,650
How else would I get
the crown jewels out?

1169
00:44:45,650 --> 00:44:46,918
Put him in the wrecker.

1170
00:44:46,918 --> 00:44:47,818
Hey!

1171
00:44:47,818 --> 00:44:49,086
I warn you!

1172
00:44:49,086 --> 00:44:50,388
I'm skilled in the
Oriental discipline.

1173
00:44:50,388 --> 00:44:51,756
ERNEST: Ouch!
Help!

1174
00:44:51,756 --> 00:44:53,124
Ow!

1175
00:44:53,124 --> 00:44:55,159
Skipping school like
some eighth grader.

1176
00:44:55,159 --> 00:44:56,294
I mean, this theory of--

1177
00:44:56,294 --> 00:44:57,762
[SHRIEKS]

1178
00:44:57,762 --> 00:44:59,697
My god!

1179
00:44:59,697 --> 00:45:00,598
Oh boy.

1180
00:45:00,598 --> 00:45:01,499
What a shame.

1181
00:45:01,499 --> 00:45:02,400
Totalled.

1182
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:03,968
- That's what I'd say.
- Totalled.

1183
00:45:03,968 --> 00:45:05,069
Complete write off.

1184
00:45:05,069 --> 00:45:06,571
No insurance.

1185
00:45:06,571 --> 00:45:08,539
You know, a good
low-mileage car--

1186
00:45:08,539 --> 00:45:09,440
--like that--

1187
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:11,275
- --could probably sell for 25--
- --26--

1188
00:45:11,275 --> 00:45:12,209
- --thousand--
- --dollars.

1189
00:45:12,209 --> 00:45:13,077
Of course, this one has a few--

1190
00:45:13,077 --> 00:45:13,978
--glitches.

1191
00:45:13,978 --> 00:45:15,246
But with a little body work--

1192
00:45:15,246 --> 00:45:16,347
BOTH: Some Bondo--

1193
00:45:16,347 --> 00:45:17,248
--we could fix it, sure.

1194
00:45:17,248 --> 00:45:18,182
No problem.

1195
00:45:18,182 --> 00:45:22,587
I'm going to kill somebody.

1196
00:45:22,587 --> 00:45:24,488
We sell some
really nice guns too.

1197
00:45:24,488 --> 00:45:25,523
And bullets, lots of bullets.

1198
00:45:25,523 --> 00:45:26,991
- Lots of bullets, yeah.
- I think they're in the--

1199
00:45:26,991 --> 00:45:27,892
--trunk.

1200
00:45:27,892 --> 00:45:30,561
Just-- just take me home, OK?

1201
00:45:30,561 --> 00:45:31,462
Your chariot--

1202
00:45:31,462 --> 00:45:32,396
--awaits.

1203
00:45:32,396 --> 00:45:33,564
I think I'll poison him.

1204
00:45:33,564 --> 00:45:34,498
Mhm.

1205
00:45:34,498 --> 00:45:36,200
ABNER: For Heaven's
sake, drive carefully.

1206
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:37,134
That's a very old cannon.

1207
00:45:37,134 --> 00:45:38,402
GLENCLIFF: Shut up.
ERNEST: Watch the curb!

1208
00:45:38,402 --> 00:45:39,704
Watch the curb!

1209
00:45:39,704 --> 00:45:41,505
Ow!

1210
00:45:41,505 --> 00:45:43,107
Boy, when they
designed this thing,

1211
00:45:43,107 --> 00:45:45,610
passenger safety wasn't the
first thing on their list.

1212
00:45:45,610 --> 00:45:46,510
Ow!

1213
00:45:46,510 --> 00:45:48,913
Let me out!

1214
00:45:48,913 --> 00:45:51,315
Can't stand tight places.

1215
00:45:51,315 --> 00:45:55,186
And I've got claustrophobia too!

1216
00:45:55,186 --> 00:45:56,454
When we get back
to the clinic,

1217
00:45:56,454 --> 00:45:59,423
do whatever it takes to
get him out of there.

1218
00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:00,758
Doctor--

1219
00:46:00,758 --> 00:46:02,760
Something unclear?

1220
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:05,029
What do we do
with the leftovers?

1221
00:46:05,029 --> 00:46:07,632
Use the surgical
disposal system.

1222
00:46:07,632 --> 00:46:09,066
ERNEST: Watch the bumps.

1223
00:46:09,066 --> 00:46:09,967
Ouch.

1224
00:46:09,967 --> 00:46:10,868
Oh!

1225
00:46:10,868 --> 00:46:12,803
It's getting awful
tight in here.

1226
00:46:12,803 --> 00:46:14,872
I sure wish I had
started the day

1227
00:46:14,872 --> 00:46:17,208
with a good 24-hour deodorant.

1228
00:46:17,208 --> 00:46:19,977
My armpits are really
starting to chafe.

1229
00:46:19,977 --> 00:46:23,281
[GRUNTING]

1230
00:46:23,281 --> 00:46:25,182
Oh, how cute.

1231
00:46:25,182 --> 00:46:26,150
Oh yes.

1232
00:46:26,150 --> 00:46:29,754
Eight beautiful little
hairy legs and--

1233
00:46:29,754 --> 00:46:32,723
200 cute little
beady eyes, and--

1234
00:46:32,723 --> 00:46:33,624
ahh!

1235
00:46:33,624 --> 00:46:36,661
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1236
00:46:37,561 --> 00:46:40,998
[GRUNTING]

1237
00:46:43,067 --> 00:46:43,968
Ow!

1238
00:46:47,471 --> 00:46:48,372
Hit him.

1239
00:46:48,372 --> 00:46:49,373
[TIRES SQUEAL]

1240
00:46:51,342 --> 00:46:53,310
[SCREAMS]

1241
00:46:55,279 --> 00:46:56,614
[GROANS]

1242
00:46:57,515 --> 00:46:58,416
You didn't do the job!

1243
00:46:58,416 --> 00:46:59,316
Put it in reverse!

1244
00:46:59,316 --> 00:47:00,317
[TIRES SQUEAL]

1245
00:47:02,319 --> 00:47:04,288
Catch the idiot!

1246
00:47:04,288 --> 00:47:06,223
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1247
00:47:06,223 --> 00:47:07,191
Run, Ernest!

1248
00:47:07,191 --> 00:47:08,092
Run!

1249
00:47:10,594 --> 00:47:11,996
THUG: Come-- get back here!

1250
00:47:11,996 --> 00:47:13,364
- Oh!
- Oh!

1251
00:47:13,364 --> 00:47:14,332
See--

1252
00:47:14,332 --> 00:47:17,702
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1253
00:47:22,707 --> 00:47:23,607
Hey!

1254
00:47:23,607 --> 00:47:26,177
Hey!

1255
00:47:26,177 --> 00:47:27,178
Don't!
- Left.

1256
00:47:27,178 --> 00:47:28,179
- Hey!
- No.

1257
00:47:28,179 --> 00:47:29,146
No.
No.

1258
00:47:29,146 --> 00:47:30,147
Right.
- Don't.

1259
00:47:30,147 --> 00:47:31,148
Come on!
- No.

1260
00:47:31,148 --> 00:47:32,149
Gotcha!
[BOINK]

1261
00:47:32,149 --> 00:47:33,050
Ah.

1262
00:47:33,050 --> 00:47:33,951
Ah!

1263
00:47:33,951 --> 00:47:36,987
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1264
00:47:47,431 --> 00:47:50,434
Young man, do you
realize you're trespassing

1265
00:47:50,434 --> 00:47:52,737
on private property?

1266
00:47:52,737 --> 00:47:55,306
Look, lady, did you see
a goopy guy in a brown hat?

1267
00:47:55,306 --> 00:47:56,974
No respect.

1268
00:47:56,974 --> 00:47:59,443
That's the trouble with
young people today.

1269
00:47:59,443 --> 00:48:01,746
They have no respect
for their elders.

1270
00:48:01,746 --> 00:48:04,515
You're just like my
second son, Jaime.

1271
00:48:04,515 --> 00:48:06,417
I had to teach him manners.

1272
00:48:06,417 --> 00:48:07,418
He's dead now.

1273
00:48:07,418 --> 00:48:09,854
Listen, you old
bag, you tell me

1274
00:48:09,854 --> 00:48:12,289
where the goofball is
right now, or somebody's

1275
00:48:12,289 --> 00:48:13,257
going to get hurt.

1276
00:48:13,257 --> 00:48:15,793
Well, aren't we being testy?

1277
00:48:15,793 --> 00:48:19,063
I suspect we don't have
enough bran in our diet.

1278
00:48:19,063 --> 00:48:21,899
Oh, is that a .44?

1279
00:48:21,899 --> 00:48:23,901
Ugh!

1280
00:48:23,901 --> 00:48:24,935
Looks just like Jaime.

1281
00:48:29,206 --> 00:48:32,576
[CREAKING]

1282
00:48:34,245 --> 00:48:35,579
ABNER: You don't
honestly believe you're

1283
00:48:35,579 --> 00:48:37,081
going to get away with this?

1284
00:48:37,081 --> 00:48:39,350
You must realize they have
very effective statutes

1285
00:48:39,350 --> 00:48:41,485
and criminal penalties in
order to combat the theft

1286
00:48:41,485 --> 00:48:42,953
of historical antiquities.

1287
00:48:42,953 --> 00:48:45,790
And furthermore, young man,
may I be so bold to say,

1288
00:48:45,790 --> 00:48:47,558
I think you'd have more
control of your life

1289
00:48:47,558 --> 00:48:49,493
if you had a proper
post-secondary education.

1290
00:48:49,493 --> 00:48:50,428
Ugh!

1291
00:48:50,428 --> 00:48:52,730
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1292
00:48:52,730 --> 00:48:55,299
ERNEST: Using his
Olympic-trained legs,

1293
00:48:55,299 --> 00:48:57,735
Indy rockets to the
Professor's rescue.

1294
00:48:57,735 --> 00:49:01,005
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1295
00:49:04,275 --> 00:49:05,509
Hang on, Dr. Melon!

1296
00:49:05,509 --> 00:49:07,478
I'm coming!

1297
00:49:07,478 --> 00:49:10,948
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1298
00:49:19,290 --> 00:49:20,958
(BRITISH ACCENT) Stop
in the name of the Sheriff

1299
00:49:20,958 --> 00:49:21,859
of Nottingham!

1300
00:49:21,859 --> 00:49:24,595
Or be issued a sound thrashing!

1301
00:49:24,595 --> 00:49:27,998
[ENGINE ROARING]

1302
00:49:30,434 --> 00:49:32,403
[SCREAMING]

1303
00:49:32,403 --> 00:49:33,771
[THUD]

1304
00:49:33,771 --> 00:49:34,738
Hey, no fair!

1305
00:49:34,738 --> 00:49:35,940
You hit Ernest!

1306
00:49:35,940 --> 00:49:36,841
Ya!

1307
00:49:36,841 --> 00:49:37,842
Oh!
Ow.

1308
00:49:37,842 --> 00:49:38,742
Oh!

1309
00:49:38,742 --> 00:49:39,643
Ugh!

1310
00:49:42,213 --> 00:49:45,683
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1311
00:49:45,683 --> 00:49:49,119
[GRUNTING]

1312
00:49:57,528 --> 00:49:58,495
[GROANS]

1313
00:50:02,967 --> 00:50:04,335
Dr. Melon?

1314
00:50:04,335 --> 00:50:05,236
Wake up!

1315
00:50:05,236 --> 00:50:06,403
It's me, Ernest.

1316
00:50:06,403 --> 00:50:10,674
I'm one of the new
boys on the hood.

1317
00:50:10,674 --> 00:50:11,675
Wake up!

1318
00:50:11,675 --> 00:50:14,111
This is no time for taking naps!

1319
00:50:14,111 --> 00:50:15,079
Dr. Melon!

1320
00:50:15,079 --> 00:50:17,515
Please!

1321
00:50:17,515 --> 00:50:20,451
Dr. Melon!

1322
00:50:20,451 --> 00:50:22,419
[TIRES SQUEALING]

1323
00:50:22,419 --> 00:50:23,387
Ow!

1324
00:50:23,387 --> 00:50:24,388
[GRUNTING]

1325
00:50:24,388 --> 00:50:25,356
Ow!

1326
00:50:25,356 --> 00:50:27,324
THUG: Come on.

1327
00:50:27,324 --> 00:50:28,459
What's going on up there?

1328
00:50:28,459 --> 00:50:29,493
He's going to throw the cannon.

1329
00:50:29,493 --> 00:50:33,964
[TIRES SQUEALING]

1330
00:50:33,964 --> 00:50:36,934
Whoa!

1331
00:50:36,934 --> 00:50:39,403
[GRUNTING]

1332
00:50:39,403 --> 00:50:41,405
THUG: Doesn't that
guy ever give up?

1333
00:50:41,405 --> 00:50:43,207
[GRUNTS]

1334
00:50:43,207 --> 00:50:44,708
I'll show you.

1335
00:50:44,708 --> 00:50:46,043
[GRUNTING]

1336
00:50:46,043 --> 00:50:46,944
ERNEST: Ow!

1337
00:50:46,944 --> 00:50:50,581
THUG: Get off my truck!

1338
00:50:50,581 --> 00:50:53,584
[GRUNTING]

1339
00:50:54,485 --> 00:50:57,454
Oh, how about a
public works enema?

1340
00:50:57,454 --> 00:50:58,689
[SCREAMS]

1341
00:50:58,689 --> 00:50:59,590
Hold on!

1342
00:50:59,590 --> 00:51:01,158
How did he catch up to us?

1343
00:51:01,158 --> 00:51:02,493
This is ridiculous!

1344
00:51:02,493 --> 00:51:03,394
No!

1345
00:51:03,394 --> 00:51:04,662
Not the cones!
Ow!

1346
00:51:04,662 --> 00:51:05,562
Ow!

1347
00:51:05,562 --> 00:51:06,463
THUG: Take that!

1348
00:51:06,463 --> 00:51:07,531
Ow!

1349
00:51:07,531 --> 00:51:08,532
Ow!

1350
00:51:08,532 --> 00:51:09,533
Ow!

1351
00:51:09,533 --> 00:51:10,501
Ah!

1352
00:51:10,501 --> 00:51:12,002
[SCREAMS]

1353
00:51:15,539 --> 00:51:16,440
Ernest!

1354
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:17,341
Whoa!

1355
00:51:17,341 --> 00:51:18,275
THUG: Stupid redneck!

1356
00:51:18,275 --> 00:51:20,044
Must have Stick-Em on his hands.

1357
00:51:20,044 --> 00:51:23,380
[GRUNTING]

1358
00:51:26,016 --> 00:51:28,919
Let go of my set!

1359
00:51:28,919 --> 00:51:29,920
Ah!

1360
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:31,655
[GRUNTING]

1361
00:51:31,655 --> 00:51:32,556
THUG: Let go of me!

1362
00:51:32,556 --> 00:51:33,724
Let go of me!

1363
00:51:33,724 --> 00:51:35,192
[GRUNTING]

1364
00:51:35,192 --> 00:51:36,660
[SCREAMS]

1365
00:51:38,128 --> 00:51:39,596
[LAUGHS]

1366
00:51:39,596 --> 00:51:41,065
Just shoot him!

1367
00:51:44,802 --> 00:51:45,703
Real bullets!

1368
00:51:45,703 --> 00:51:47,304
They're shooting
real bullets at us!

1369
00:51:47,304 --> 00:51:48,939
Be a moving target, Dr. Melon.

1370
00:51:48,939 --> 00:51:50,140
Be a moving target.

1371
00:51:50,140 --> 00:51:51,375
Nobody's driving the truck!

1372
00:51:51,375 --> 00:51:52,376
I can't help that.

1373
00:51:52,376 --> 00:51:53,510
Let's get to the cannon.

1374
00:51:53,510 --> 00:51:54,812
But the trucks'
out of control!

1375
00:51:54,812 --> 00:51:56,613
Welcome to my world!

1376
00:51:56,613 --> 00:51:58,048
- Let's be sensible!
- No.

1377
00:51:58,048 --> 00:51:58,949
Let's stay alive.

1378
00:51:58,949 --> 00:52:00,884
[BULLETS ZINGING]

1379
00:52:00,884 --> 00:52:02,386
ABNER: Ooh, ah, ah, ooh.
Moving target.

1380
00:52:02,386 --> 00:52:03,487
Moving target.
Ernest?

1381
00:52:03,487 --> 00:52:04,388
Ah!

1382
00:52:04,388 --> 00:52:05,456
Where are you going?

1383
00:52:05,456 --> 00:52:09,193
Those cretins are
trying to get on Goliath.

1384
00:52:09,193 --> 00:52:10,194
Ah!

1385
00:52:10,194 --> 00:52:11,195
ERNEST: Dr. Melon?

1386
00:52:11,195 --> 00:52:13,197
I'm going to pull the pin.

1387
00:52:13,197 --> 00:52:15,699
That's a good way to
lose a finger, Ernest.

1388
00:52:15,699 --> 00:52:17,167
[GRUNTS]

1389
00:52:18,168 --> 00:52:19,169
ERNEST: Uh-oh.

1390
00:52:19,169 --> 00:52:20,671
ABNER: Ernest!

1391
00:52:20,671 --> 00:52:22,272
Jump to the cannon!

1392
00:52:22,272 --> 00:52:23,173
Jump!

1393
00:52:23,173 --> 00:52:25,175
[BULLETS ZINGING]

1394
00:52:25,175 --> 00:52:26,276
Ah!

1395
00:52:26,276 --> 00:52:27,177
[GRUNTS]

1396
00:52:29,146 --> 00:52:30,647
Come on, jump, Dr. Melon!

1397
00:52:30,647 --> 00:52:31,649
Jump!

1398
00:52:31,649 --> 00:52:32,549
No, no!

1399
00:52:32,549 --> 00:52:33,984
To the cannon! to the cannon!

1400
00:52:33,984 --> 00:52:34,918
Are you crazy?

1401
00:52:34,918 --> 00:52:36,020
That must be 13 feet!

1402
00:52:36,020 --> 00:52:37,321
This is no time
to be superstitious!

1403
00:52:37,321 --> 00:52:38,222
Jump!

1404
00:52:38,222 --> 00:52:39,223
I-- I can't!

1405
00:52:39,223 --> 00:52:40,124
[GUNSHOT]

1406
00:52:41,025 --> 00:52:43,193
Take my hand!

1407
00:52:43,193 --> 00:52:46,196
[GRUNTING]

1408
00:52:46,196 --> 00:52:47,798
I can't!
I don't jump!

1409
00:52:47,798 --> 00:52:48,699
I teach history!

1410
00:52:48,699 --> 00:52:49,967
I'm a history professor!

1411
00:52:49,967 --> 00:52:52,836
Just goes to show you,
history won't keep you alive!

1412
00:52:52,836 --> 00:52:55,706
Now, jump!
- I can't, Ernest!

1413
00:52:55,706 --> 00:52:59,209
I just can't do it!

1414
00:52:59,209 --> 00:53:00,110
Oh--

1415
00:53:00,110 --> 00:53:03,514
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1416
00:53:09,887 --> 00:53:12,489
Dr. Melon!

1417
00:53:12,489 --> 00:53:13,724
Dr. Melon!

1418
00:53:13,724 --> 00:53:14,625
Jump!

1419
00:53:14,625 --> 00:53:15,659
I can't do it!

1420
00:53:15,659 --> 00:53:16,560
Ah!

1421
00:53:25,402 --> 00:53:27,371
[LAUGHS]

1422
00:53:27,371 --> 00:53:30,074
Well, safe at last.

1423
00:53:30,074 --> 00:53:31,075
I'm off of this thing.

1424
00:53:35,345 --> 00:53:36,980
I knew it was too
good to be true!

1425
00:53:36,980 --> 00:53:37,981
Oh!

1426
00:53:37,981 --> 00:53:41,452
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1427
00:53:43,921 --> 00:53:45,389
He's on my cannon!

1428
00:53:45,389 --> 00:53:48,358
[GROANING]

1429
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:51,829
[SCREAMS]

1430
00:53:51,829 --> 00:53:52,830
[SCREAMS]

1431
00:53:52,830 --> 00:53:58,268
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1432
00:53:58,268 --> 00:53:59,269
GLENCLIFF: Follow him!

1433
00:53:59,269 --> 00:54:00,270
Follow him!

1434
00:54:00,270 --> 00:54:07,177
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1435
00:54:07,177 --> 00:54:09,146
Ernest!

1436
00:54:09,146 --> 00:54:11,448
I jumped!

1437
00:54:11,448 --> 00:54:12,349
Wait up!

1438
00:54:12,349 --> 00:54:13,984
I'm coming!

1439
00:54:13,984 --> 00:54:15,119
FRANK: Year of the Woman.

1440
00:54:15,119 --> 00:54:16,553
It's enough to make you sick--

1441
00:54:16,553 --> 00:54:18,188
--to your stomach.

1442
00:54:18,188 --> 00:54:20,958
Look, lady, we can't be
driving you all over town

1443
00:54:20,958 --> 00:54:22,993
just because you think we're
your personal chauffeurs

1444
00:54:22,993 --> 00:54:23,794
or something.
- Or something.

1445
00:54:23,794 --> 00:54:25,496
- We got our territory.
- Our territor--

1446
00:54:25,496 --> 00:54:26,497
Yeah.

1447
00:54:26,497 --> 00:54:27,965
Stuff your territory.

1448
00:54:27,965 --> 00:54:28,866
No!

1449
00:54:28,866 --> 00:54:29,766
Don't!

1450
00:54:29,766 --> 00:54:32,302
Hey, hey, hey!

1451
00:54:32,302 --> 00:54:33,370
[SIGHS]

1452
00:54:34,271 --> 00:54:35,272
Too much--

1453
00:54:35,272 --> 00:54:36,740
--coffee.

1454
00:54:36,740 --> 00:54:37,808
BOTH: Oh well.

1455
00:54:37,808 --> 00:54:38,709
Let's go.

1456
00:54:38,709 --> 00:54:39,710
Oh!

1457
00:54:39,710 --> 00:54:40,677
Ah!

1458
00:54:40,677 --> 00:54:42,646
Left!

1459
00:54:42,646 --> 00:54:45,115
Help!

1460
00:54:45,115 --> 00:54:46,116
Whoa!

1461
00:54:46,116 --> 00:54:47,084
Whoa!

1462
00:54:47,084 --> 00:54:48,085
Yee-haw!

1463
00:54:48,085 --> 00:54:51,522
[CHATTER]

1464
00:54:59,997 --> 00:55:01,798
Let's go, honey.
We're going to be late.

1465
00:55:01,798 --> 00:55:04,801
[CHATTER]

1466
00:55:05,702 --> 00:55:09,173
WOMAN: It's so good to see you.

1467
00:55:09,173 --> 00:55:12,676
[RUMBLING]

1468
00:55:12,676 --> 00:55:16,180
[SCREAMING]

1469
00:55:16,180 --> 00:55:17,681
ERNEST: Get out of the way!

1470
00:55:17,681 --> 00:55:19,149
I don't want to kill anybody!

1471
00:55:19,149 --> 00:55:21,151
Not even that bad mime!

1472
00:55:21,151 --> 00:55:22,152
Watch out!

1473
00:55:22,152 --> 00:55:23,153
Get out of the way!

1474
00:55:23,153 --> 00:55:24,054
Oh.

1475
00:55:24,054 --> 00:55:25,656
ERNEST: You badly-dressed
women, move!

1476
00:55:25,656 --> 00:55:27,758
[SCREAMING]

1477
00:55:27,758 --> 00:55:28,659
Mayday!

1478
00:55:28,659 --> 00:55:29,560
Mayday!

1479
00:55:29,560 --> 00:55:31,128
Can't control this thing!

1480
00:55:31,128 --> 00:55:32,629
Get out of the way!

1481
00:55:32,629 --> 00:55:36,133
[SCREAMING]

1482
00:55:39,136 --> 00:55:40,637
Watch out!
Stop!

1483
00:55:40,637 --> 00:55:41,605
Get out of the way!

1484
00:55:41,605 --> 00:55:43,106
Watch out!

1485
00:55:43,106 --> 00:55:46,610
[SHOUTING]

1486
00:55:49,112 --> 00:55:51,114
Get out of the way!

1487
00:55:51,114 --> 00:55:52,082
[SCREAMING]

1488
00:55:52,082 --> 00:55:54,585
Sticker bushes!

1489
00:55:54,585 --> 00:55:55,586
Ow.

1490
00:55:55,586 --> 00:55:57,588
MAN: I can't believe this.

1491
00:55:57,588 --> 00:55:59,590
[WINCING]

1492
00:55:59,590 --> 00:56:02,092
Ow.

1493
00:56:02,092 --> 00:56:03,160
Look, lady--

1494
00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:04,228
- --we have to go.
- We're late.

1495
00:56:04,228 --> 00:56:05,762
Since it doesn't look
like you're going to--

1496
00:56:05,762 --> 00:56:06,797
BOTH: --buy anything--

1497
00:56:06,797 --> 00:56:07,698
--we'll just be--

1498
00:56:07,698 --> 00:56:08,599
--on our way.

1499
00:56:08,599 --> 00:56:10,267
You two will do
exactly as you are to--

1500
00:56:10,267 --> 00:56:13,704
[SPY MUSIC PLAYING]

1501
00:56:14,705 --> 00:56:16,840
Excuse me.

1502
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:17,741
Who are you?

1503
00:56:17,741 --> 00:56:20,143
And what are you
doing in my house?

1504
00:56:20,143 --> 00:56:21,612
Sorry to impose, madam.

1505
00:56:21,612 --> 00:56:23,513
But we are here to inquire
as to the whereabouts

1506
00:56:23,513 --> 00:56:26,083
of your husband,
Dr. Abner T. Melon.

1507
00:56:26,083 --> 00:56:28,318
You are Mrs. Melon, I presume?

1508
00:56:28,318 --> 00:56:29,286
Who wants to know?

1509
00:56:29,286 --> 00:56:32,289
Madam, it is imperative we
know where your husband is.

1510
00:56:32,289 --> 00:56:36,793
The severity of the situation
is beyond your imagination.

1511
00:56:36,793 --> 00:56:39,596
You're not from
around here, are you?

1512
00:56:39,596 --> 00:56:42,132
You're from--
England, aren't you?

1513
00:56:42,132 --> 00:56:43,033
JOE: English--

1514
00:56:43,033 --> 00:56:43,934
--big--

1515
00:56:43,934 --> 00:56:45,669
--spender.

1516
00:56:45,669 --> 00:56:48,505
So Abner was right.

1517
00:56:48,505 --> 00:56:50,607
That tedious story of the Crown
Jewels getting stolen is true,

1518
00:56:50,607 --> 00:56:52,009
or the British government
(BRITISH ACCENT)

1519
00:56:52,009 --> 00:56:54,544
would not be so
interested, what?

1520
00:56:54,544 --> 00:56:56,413
- Jewels?
- The Crown--

1521
00:56:56,413 --> 00:56:57,314
--Jewels.

1522
00:56:57,314 --> 00:56:59,416
[ERNEST SCREAMING]

1523
00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:00,417
ABNER: Ernest!

1524
00:57:00,417 --> 00:57:01,485
Look out for the neighbor's cat!

1525
00:57:01,485 --> 00:57:02,386
[CAT SNARLS]

1526
00:57:02,386 --> 00:57:03,887
Abner?

1527
00:57:03,887 --> 00:57:06,356
Let's roll.

1528
00:57:06,356 --> 00:57:07,824
[LAUGHTER]

1529
00:57:07,824 --> 00:57:09,793
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1530
00:57:09,793 --> 00:57:11,295
[ERNEST SCREAMS]

1531
00:57:14,731 --> 00:57:16,733
Come on, Dr. Melon!

1532
00:57:16,733 --> 00:57:17,701
Come on!

1533
00:57:17,701 --> 00:57:18,702
You got the brains!

1534
00:57:18,702 --> 00:57:19,670
Get me off of this!

1535
00:57:19,670 --> 00:57:21,672
Come on, Dr. Melon!

1536
00:57:25,609 --> 00:57:26,610
[ENGINE REVS]

1537
00:57:28,578 --> 00:57:30,580
Wait for me, Ernest!

1538
00:57:30,580 --> 00:57:32,049
I'm coming!

1539
00:57:32,049 --> 00:57:35,485
[CHATTER]

1540
00:57:59,609 --> 00:58:01,478
Move on.

1541
00:58:01,478 --> 00:58:02,979
Starboard!

1542
00:58:02,979 --> 00:58:04,948
Leeward!

1543
00:58:04,948 --> 00:58:05,949
Edward!

1544
00:58:05,949 --> 00:58:07,451
Anybody!

1545
00:58:07,451 --> 00:58:10,420
Oh.

1546
00:58:10,420 --> 00:58:11,421
Whoa!

1547
00:58:11,421 --> 00:58:12,322
No!

1548
00:58:16,360 --> 00:58:17,694
Call Marabone.

1549
00:58:17,694 --> 00:58:18,795
Tell him we've seen Goliath.

1550
00:58:18,795 --> 00:58:19,796
- Yes, sir.
- Get in.

1551
00:58:19,796 --> 00:58:21,131
Get in.
Get in.

1552
00:58:21,131 --> 00:58:22,632
We have to save
those Crown Jewels.

1553
00:58:22,632 --> 00:58:24,134
And you know, of course,
my darling husband.

1554
00:58:24,134 --> 00:58:25,669
- Whoa--
- Ho-ho.

1555
00:58:25,669 --> 00:58:27,137
- Whose car is this?
- Whose car?

1556
00:58:27,137 --> 00:58:28,972
- Is it stolen?
- Oh, it's not stolen.

1557
00:58:28,972 --> 00:58:30,574
- Or swiped.
- So it's yours.

1558
00:58:30,574 --> 00:58:31,475
- Lock--
- --stock--

1559
00:58:31,475 --> 00:58:32,876
--and barrel.
It's ours.

1560
00:58:32,876 --> 00:58:33,543
- Ours.
- Ours.

1561
00:58:33,543 --> 00:58:34,544
- Ours.
- Well, good.

1562
00:58:34,544 --> 00:58:36,246
I'm glad we established that.
Now, get in.

1563
00:58:36,246 --> 00:58:37,314
Ah.

1564
00:58:37,314 --> 00:58:38,648
You said something
earlier about jewels?

1565
00:58:38,648 --> 00:58:39,449
- The Crown--
- --Jewels?

1566
00:58:39,449 --> 00:58:41,218
So?

1567
00:58:41,218 --> 00:58:44,621
Unless you agree to give
us a cut of whatever you get,

1568
00:58:44,621 --> 00:58:46,123
we're not moving an inch.
- Not one inch.

1569
00:58:46,123 --> 00:58:47,024
Not one.

1570
00:58:47,024 --> 00:58:48,225
Not one.

1571
00:58:48,225 --> 00:58:50,394
Gentleman, that is blackmail.

1572
00:58:50,394 --> 00:58:51,528
[LAUGHTER]

1573
00:58:51,528 --> 00:58:52,429
You got--

1574
00:58:52,429 --> 00:58:53,397
--that right.

1575
00:58:53,397 --> 00:58:54,431
A federal offense.

1576
00:58:54,431 --> 00:58:55,332
In most states.

1577
00:58:55,332 --> 00:58:57,200
But we suggest that
you think about--

1578
00:58:57,200 --> 00:58:58,635
- Think about how far--
- --you'll get--

1579
00:58:58,635 --> 00:58:59,736
--on foot.

1580
00:58:59,736 --> 00:59:01,071
Shanks' mare.
- Hoofing it.

1581
00:59:01,071 --> 00:59:01,972
[LAUGHTER]

1582
00:59:01,972 --> 00:59:03,407
- All right, 10%?
- 25--

1583
00:59:03,407 --> 00:59:04,374
Would be better.

1584
00:59:04,374 --> 00:59:05,275
Oh, I think I said, 10.

1585
00:59:05,275 --> 00:59:06,176
Ah, OK!

1586
00:59:06,176 --> 00:59:07,544
OK!

1587
00:59:07,544 --> 00:59:08,445
15!

1588
00:59:08,445 --> 00:59:09,980
Or Frank here swallows the keys.

1589
00:59:09,980 --> 00:59:11,081
I've seen him do it at parties.

1590
00:59:11,081 --> 00:59:14,050
Uh-huh.

1591
00:59:14,050 --> 00:59:15,519
[CRYING]

1592
00:59:15,519 --> 00:59:16,987
Sorry, guys.

1593
00:59:16,987 --> 00:59:17,988
Sorry.

1594
00:59:17,988 --> 00:59:19,990
I mean, I'm just
so stressed out.

1595
00:59:19,990 --> 00:59:22,125
I just-- Abner and--

1596
00:59:22,125 --> 00:59:23,093
sorry.

1597
00:59:23,093 --> 00:59:25,195
Oh, OK.

1598
00:59:25,195 --> 00:59:27,330
OK.

1599
00:59:27,330 --> 00:59:28,598
BOTH: 12.
- Done.

1600
00:59:28,598 --> 00:59:29,499
Get in.

1601
00:59:29,499 --> 00:59:30,400
Hey!

1602
00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:31,835
Ah, deal's a deal.

1603
00:59:31,835 --> 00:59:32,736
What a witch.

1604
00:59:32,736 --> 00:59:33,703
I think I'm in love.

1605
00:59:39,142 --> 00:59:42,112
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1606
00:59:42,112 --> 00:59:44,581
Ernest!

1607
00:59:44,581 --> 00:59:46,049
Over here!

1608
00:59:46,049 --> 00:59:48,518
Dr. Melon!

1609
00:59:48,518 --> 00:59:50,520
Jump the ditch!

1610
00:59:50,520 --> 00:59:51,488
I don't jump!

1611
00:59:51,488 --> 00:59:52,989
I thought I told you that!

1612
00:59:52,989 --> 00:59:55,926
I'll try to find a crossroad!

1613
00:59:55,926 --> 00:59:59,396
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1614
01:00:01,898 --> 01:00:04,100
Doesn't this feel fine?

1615
01:00:04,100 --> 01:00:08,638
Getting away from all the
smog and crime and violence?

1616
01:00:08,638 --> 01:00:11,007
Can't believe we
didn't do it earlier.

1617
01:00:11,007 --> 01:00:14,478
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1618
01:00:15,479 --> 01:00:17,481
Oh, these thorns hurt.

1619
01:00:17,481 --> 01:00:18,482
Ow.

1620
01:00:18,482 --> 01:00:19,483
Ow.

1621
01:00:19,483 --> 01:00:20,484
Ow.

1622
01:00:20,484 --> 01:00:21,451
Ow.

1623
01:00:21,451 --> 01:00:22,452
Ow.

1624
01:00:22,452 --> 01:00:25,155
Life is so serene
on the open road.

1625
01:00:25,155 --> 01:00:26,056
Amen.

1626
01:00:28,959 --> 01:00:32,362
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1627
01:00:35,532 --> 01:00:37,734
What's that?

1628
01:00:37,734 --> 01:00:38,702
No!

1629
01:00:38,702 --> 01:00:40,737
Come on, turn!

1630
01:00:40,737 --> 01:00:41,638
Help.

1631
01:00:41,638 --> 01:00:42,606
Ah.

1632
01:00:42,606 --> 01:00:45,208
It's some sort
of alien spaceship.

1633
01:00:45,208 --> 01:00:47,277
It's no alien spaceship.

1634
01:00:47,277 --> 01:00:48,278
It is.

1635
01:00:48,278 --> 01:00:51,781
[GRUNTING]

1636
01:00:51,781 --> 01:00:55,385
This must have been what it
was like before power steering.

1637
01:00:55,385 --> 01:00:57,254
It's some kind of advertising.

1638
01:00:57,254 --> 01:00:58,788
No, it's in our lane.

1639
01:00:58,788 --> 01:00:59,756
It's not an advertisement.

1640
01:00:59,756 --> 01:01:00,991
Put your blinker on.

1641
01:01:00,991 --> 01:01:01,758
What do you mean,
put my blinker on?

1642
01:01:01,758 --> 01:01:02,759
Put your blinker on.

1643
01:01:02,759 --> 01:01:06,229
[GRUNTING]

1644
01:01:07,130 --> 01:01:08,665
Uh-- uh-- uh--

1645
01:01:08,665 --> 01:01:09,666
Brake!
Brake!

1646
01:01:09,666 --> 01:01:10,634
Brake!
- I'm braking!

1647
01:01:10,634 --> 01:01:11,535
I'm trying!

1648
01:01:11,535 --> 01:01:12,502
Brake!

1649
01:01:12,502 --> 01:01:15,906
[SCREAMING]

1650
01:01:20,310 --> 01:01:23,246
Sorry to bust in on
you folks like this!

1651
01:01:23,246 --> 01:01:24,147
Whoa!

1652
01:01:24,147 --> 01:01:26,283
It's one of those carjackings!

1653
01:01:26,283 --> 01:01:27,651
Don't shoot!

1654
01:01:27,651 --> 01:01:28,685
Don't shoot!

1655
01:01:28,685 --> 01:01:31,655
[RUMBLING]

1656
01:01:37,160 --> 01:01:41,131
WOMAN: Stop pushing us or we'll
be forced to do something ugly!

1657
01:01:41,131 --> 01:01:42,232
Do something, Frank!

1658
01:01:42,232 --> 01:01:43,133
Frank!

1659
01:01:43,133 --> 01:01:45,235
FRANK T: Just what exactly
would you have me do?!

1660
01:01:45,235 --> 01:01:46,136
Let's go.

1661
01:01:46,136 --> 01:01:47,037
We'll cut 'em off.

1662
01:01:47,037 --> 01:01:50,106
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1663
01:01:50,106 --> 01:01:53,109
Believe me, folks,
this wasn't my idea!

1664
01:01:53,109 --> 01:01:55,078
Whip it with the rod, Frank!

1665
01:01:55,078 --> 01:01:57,080
I'll get the bug juice!

1666
01:01:57,080 --> 01:01:58,081
All right!

1667
01:01:58,081 --> 01:01:59,182
WOMAN: Go on, Frank!

1668
01:01:59,182 --> 01:02:00,083
Cast away!

1669
01:02:00,083 --> 01:02:01,084
Get him!

1670
01:02:01,084 --> 01:02:02,519
Oh!
Cast!

1671
01:02:02,519 --> 01:02:03,420
Go, Frank!

1672
01:02:03,420 --> 01:02:05,755
I'll teach you
to knick my camper.

1673
01:02:05,755 --> 01:02:06,823
WOMAN: Go on!
- Gotcha!

1674
01:02:06,823 --> 01:02:08,391
Ow!
WOMAN: You got him, Frank!

1675
01:02:08,391 --> 01:02:09,693
No reel him in!
- Ow!

1676
01:02:09,693 --> 01:02:11,227
WOMAN: Come on!
- Catch and release!

1677
01:02:11,227 --> 01:02:12,596
WOMAN: Reel him in, Frank!

1678
01:02:12,596 --> 01:02:15,131
Let go of my camper,
you car jacker!

1679
01:02:15,131 --> 01:02:16,666
Take that, you highway man!

1680
01:02:16,666 --> 01:02:17,567
ERNEST: Don't, lady!

1681
01:02:17,567 --> 01:02:18,468
Don't!

1682
01:02:18,468 --> 01:02:20,770
[COUGHING]

1683
01:02:21,671 --> 01:02:23,073
WOMAN: You're dead meat, buddy!

1684
01:02:23,073 --> 01:02:24,574
ERNEST: Ow!
Ow!

1685
01:02:24,574 --> 01:02:25,575
Ouch!

1686
01:02:25,575 --> 01:02:27,143
[GROANING]

1687
01:02:27,143 --> 01:02:28,044
Ow!

1688
01:02:28,044 --> 01:02:29,713
Don't you use Marvelous hooks?

1689
01:02:29,713 --> 01:02:30,614
Ow!

1690
01:02:30,614 --> 01:02:33,016
All right, plow into the
back of that cannon now.

1691
01:02:33,016 --> 01:02:34,484
- But there's a man--
- --on that--

1692
01:02:34,484 --> 01:02:35,485
- --cannon.
- Yeah, I can see that!

1693
01:02:35,485 --> 01:02:36,753
Do it!
- Think of the danger.

1694
01:02:36,753 --> 01:02:37,721
Think of the horror.

1695
01:02:37,721 --> 01:02:38,622
Think of the humanity.

1696
01:02:38,622 --> 01:02:39,823
Think of the jewels.

1697
01:02:39,823 --> 01:02:43,259
BOTH: He'll live.

1698
01:02:43,259 --> 01:02:45,195
WOMAN: He's tiring, Frank!

1699
01:02:45,195 --> 01:02:46,696
He's laying on his side!

1700
01:02:46,696 --> 01:02:47,664
Reel him in, baby!

1701
01:02:47,664 --> 01:02:49,132
Ow!

1702
01:02:49,132 --> 01:02:50,634
Stand your ground, men.

1703
01:02:50,634 --> 01:02:53,837
Only fire if they don't stop.

1704
01:02:53,837 --> 01:02:55,805
Fire!

1705
01:02:55,805 --> 01:02:56,806
Stop, Frank!

1706
01:02:56,806 --> 01:02:58,775
His gang is shooting at us!

1707
01:02:58,775 --> 01:03:01,745
If we go down, this
one's going with us!

1708
01:03:01,745 --> 01:03:02,712
Ow!

1709
01:03:02,712 --> 01:03:06,182
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1710
01:03:09,719 --> 01:03:10,620
Run!

1711
01:03:10,620 --> 01:03:14,057
Get out of the way!

1712
01:03:14,057 --> 01:03:16,026
A diversion?

1713
01:03:16,026 --> 01:03:18,028
A demonstration.

1714
01:03:18,028 --> 01:03:21,164
BOTH: --the bug fogger!

1715
01:03:21,164 --> 01:03:22,799
Three, two, one.

1716
01:03:22,799 --> 01:03:24,267
Works every time.

1717
01:03:24,267 --> 01:03:25,735
[LAUGHTER]

1718
01:03:25,735 --> 01:03:28,638
[COUGHING]

1719
01:03:34,010 --> 01:03:35,478
WOMAN: He's still on!

1720
01:03:35,478 --> 01:03:36,546
Get that hook in deeper, Frank!

1721
01:03:36,546 --> 01:03:37,414
[GRUNTING]

1722
01:03:37,414 --> 01:03:38,782
FRANK T: Let go of my camper!

1723
01:03:38,782 --> 01:03:39,683
Stop!

1724
01:03:39,683 --> 01:03:41,051
Try to swing him
off now, Frank!

1725
01:03:41,051 --> 01:03:41,951
I'm swinging!

1726
01:03:41,951 --> 01:03:43,687
I'm swinging!

1727
01:03:43,687 --> 01:03:44,621
Throw me back!

1728
01:03:44,621 --> 01:03:45,522
Ow!

1729
01:03:45,522 --> 01:03:46,456
I'm out of season!

1730
01:03:46,456 --> 01:03:49,426
Let go of my wheel.

1731
01:03:49,426 --> 01:03:50,427
[TIRES SQUEAL]

1732
01:03:51,394 --> 01:03:52,996
[FISHING POLE REELING]

1733
01:03:52,996 --> 01:03:53,897
He's running!

1734
01:03:53,897 --> 01:03:55,398
He's running!

1735
01:03:55,398 --> 01:03:56,900
ERNEST: Owww!

1736
01:03:56,900 --> 01:04:00,336
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1737
01:04:07,777 --> 01:04:09,245
Whoa!

1738
01:04:09,245 --> 01:04:10,747
[WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING]

1739
01:04:10,747 --> 01:04:11,748
Ah, hey!

1740
01:04:11,748 --> 01:04:12,716
Hey, on the road!

1741
01:04:12,716 --> 01:04:13,717
Hey!

1742
01:04:13,717 --> 01:04:14,718
get 'em up!

1743
01:04:14,718 --> 01:04:16,186
Move 'em back!
[WHISTLES]

1744
01:04:16,186 --> 01:04:16,686
Ya!
Ya!

1745
01:04:16,686 --> 01:04:17,687
Ya!

1746
01:04:17,687 --> 01:04:18,988
Yee-haw!

1747
01:04:18,988 --> 01:04:20,023
GLENCLIFF: Go!
Go!

1748
01:04:20,023 --> 01:04:21,624
Go!
Catch up to him.

1749
01:04:21,624 --> 01:04:25,095
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1750
01:04:28,565 --> 01:04:30,133
That-- that's Ernest up there.

1751
01:04:30,133 --> 01:04:31,034
All right, stop him.

1752
01:04:31,034 --> 01:04:32,602
- We can't.
- Ram him!

1753
01:04:32,602 --> 01:04:33,803
- We can't!
- This is a--

1754
01:04:33,803 --> 01:04:34,704
--Mighty Workboy--

1755
01:04:34,704 --> 01:04:35,739
--company car.

1756
01:04:35,739 --> 01:04:39,209
[ENGINE PUTTING]

1757
01:04:39,209 --> 01:04:40,210
Ernest!

1758
01:04:40,210 --> 01:04:42,679
I'm back!

1759
01:04:42,679 --> 01:04:44,180
Is that-- that's Abner!

1760
01:04:44,180 --> 01:04:45,181
That's Abner!

1761
01:04:45,181 --> 01:04:46,082
Go around.

1762
01:04:46,082 --> 01:04:47,517
Go around!
- Go around?

1763
01:04:47,517 --> 01:04:48,418
We can't!

1764
01:04:48,418 --> 01:04:49,652
Look, the-- this thing--

1765
01:04:49,652 --> 01:04:51,054
- --whatever it is--
- --its taking up

1766
01:04:51,054 --> 01:04:52,088
BOTH: --the whole road.

1767
01:04:52,088 --> 01:04:54,090
[BAWKS LIKE CHICKEN]

1768
01:04:54,090 --> 01:04:55,592
ERNEST: Follow me!
- Ernest!

1769
01:04:55,592 --> 01:04:56,593
Glencliff is right behind me!

1770
01:04:56,593 --> 01:04:57,761
What do I do?

1771
01:04:57,761 --> 01:04:59,028
Jump the ditch!

1772
01:04:59,028 --> 01:05:00,196
I can't do that!

1773
01:05:00,196 --> 01:05:01,931
Evil what's-his-name
can do it!

1774
01:05:01,931 --> 01:05:04,634
Well, I'm not
Evil-what's-his-name, am I?

1775
01:05:04,634 --> 01:05:08,138
You see that drain pipe?

1776
01:05:08,138 --> 01:05:09,806
Crawl out on it.

1777
01:05:09,806 --> 01:05:11,407
And I'll snatch you
over there like a mail

1778
01:05:11,407 --> 01:05:12,509
bag on the Pony Express.

1779
01:05:12,509 --> 01:05:13,510
OK, OK, OK.

1780
01:05:13,510 --> 01:05:15,245
I can do it if I want to.

1781
01:05:15,245 --> 01:05:16,279
I'm just not sure if I want to.

1782
01:05:16,279 --> 01:05:17,547
That's all.

1783
01:05:17,547 --> 01:05:19,015
GLENCLIFF: Hurry!

1784
01:05:19,015 --> 01:05:19,949
I'll try!

1785
01:05:19,949 --> 01:05:23,453
[WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING]

1786
01:05:35,832 --> 01:05:38,802
THUG: I'll get him.

1787
01:05:38,802 --> 01:05:40,270
GLENCLIFF: Grab him!

1788
01:05:40,270 --> 01:05:41,271
Grab him!

1789
01:05:41,271 --> 01:05:43,239
I want him alive!

1790
01:05:43,239 --> 01:05:46,709
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

1791
01:05:51,681 --> 01:05:52,649
ERNEST: Dr. Melon!

1792
01:05:52,649 --> 01:05:53,650
Dr. Melon!

1793
01:05:53,650 --> 01:05:54,851
Hang out on the end!

1794
01:05:54,851 --> 01:05:56,252
Know what I mean?

1795
01:06:00,723 --> 01:06:02,192
OK, jump as I pass!

1796
01:06:02,192 --> 01:06:03,693
We've been through this!

1797
01:06:03,693 --> 01:06:06,696
But you can do it this time!

1798
01:06:10,166 --> 01:06:12,135
Come on.

1799
01:06:12,135 --> 01:06:13,136
Found him!

1800
01:06:13,136 --> 01:06:16,606
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1801
01:06:16,606 --> 01:06:18,608
Abner, get down
from there, darling!

1802
01:06:18,608 --> 01:06:20,109
It's very dangerous!

1803
01:06:20,109 --> 01:06:22,512
Ooh, this is going to hurt.

1804
01:06:22,512 --> 01:06:25,048
I'm sure glad this isn't me.

1805
01:06:25,048 --> 01:06:27,083
Come on, you can do it!

1806
01:06:27,083 --> 01:06:27,984
Rocket fire!

1807
01:06:27,984 --> 01:06:29,085
Rocket fire!

1808
01:06:29,085 --> 01:06:29,986
He's not going to--

1809
01:06:29,986 --> 01:06:31,221
--make it.

1810
01:06:31,221 --> 01:06:32,655
[PANTING]

1811
01:06:32,655 --> 01:06:33,590
Oh!

1812
01:06:33,590 --> 01:06:34,557
[METAL CLANGS]

1813
01:06:34,557 --> 01:06:35,491
Ugh.

1814
01:06:35,491 --> 01:06:36,459
Great form.

1815
01:06:36,459 --> 01:06:39,062
Your toes were curled,
but I'll still give you--

1816
01:06:39,062 --> 01:06:41,397
[MUSIC PLAYING]

1817
01:06:41,397 --> 01:06:42,365
I did it!

1818
01:06:42,365 --> 01:06:43,700
I did it!

1819
01:06:43,700 --> 01:06:44,701
What a rush!

1820
01:06:44,701 --> 01:06:45,702
I did it!

1821
01:06:45,702 --> 01:06:47,203
[LAUGHS]

1822
01:06:48,671 --> 01:06:51,140
Oh, for Pete's sake,
they're shooting at us.

1823
01:06:51,140 --> 01:06:52,208
- Bullets?
- Real--

1824
01:06:52,208 --> 01:06:53,109
--bullets?

1825
01:06:53,109 --> 01:06:54,544
[GUNFIRE]

1826
01:06:54,544 --> 01:06:56,479
Oh!

1827
01:06:56,479 --> 01:06:57,947
[TIRES SQUEALING]

1828
01:06:57,947 --> 01:07:01,317
[SCREAMING]

1829
01:07:02,352 --> 01:07:03,253
[GUNFIRE]

1830
01:07:03,253 --> 01:07:05,054
You hear that?

1831
01:07:05,054 --> 01:07:06,356
It's obvious somebody
else is joining

1832
01:07:06,356 --> 01:07:08,124
the pursuit of the crown.

1833
01:07:08,124 --> 01:07:10,193
Tap into Northstar
and get me Marabone.

1834
01:07:10,193 --> 01:07:13,396
[GUNFIRE]

1835
01:07:14,764 --> 01:07:17,767
Trigger-happy idiots.

1836
01:07:17,767 --> 01:07:19,302
Get in the car!

1837
01:07:19,302 --> 01:07:20,803
- Go!
- OK!

1838
01:07:20,803 --> 01:07:21,804
[LAUGHTER]

1839
01:07:21,804 --> 01:07:22,872
We did it!

1840
01:07:22,872 --> 01:07:23,773
Wow!

1841
01:07:23,773 --> 01:07:25,842
For once we've made it!

1842
01:07:25,842 --> 01:07:26,743
Oh-ho!

1843
01:07:26,743 --> 01:07:29,279
[BIG BEN CHIMING]

1844
01:07:30,179 --> 01:07:32,181
Bandish, you know
you're not to contact

1845
01:07:32,181 --> 01:07:34,384
us unless absolutely necessary.

1846
01:07:34,384 --> 01:07:36,085
We've lost them, sir.

1847
01:07:36,085 --> 01:07:36,986
Hmph.

1848
01:07:36,986 --> 01:07:39,422
Well, we'll transmit
satellite photos of your area

1849
01:07:39,422 --> 01:07:40,657
over Taikon 4,000.

1850
01:07:40,657 --> 01:07:41,891
Talk to the links.

1851
01:07:41,891 --> 01:07:43,826
I don't have to remind
you what happens

1852
01:07:43,826 --> 01:07:45,428
if the hat is on the wrong cat.

1853
01:07:45,428 --> 01:07:46,696
No, sir, you don't.

1854
01:07:46,696 --> 01:07:48,698
Bandish, over and out.

1855
01:07:48,698 --> 01:07:52,835
England will have a new king.

1856
01:07:52,835 --> 01:07:55,738
[AIR HISSING]

1857
01:07:56,639 --> 01:07:58,808
Well, don't just stand there.

1858
01:07:58,808 --> 01:07:59,709
Fix it!

1859
01:07:59,709 --> 01:08:00,944
- Look, lady--
- --this may come--

1860
01:08:00,944 --> 01:08:02,211
- --as a big surprise--
- --to you.

1861
01:08:02,211 --> 01:08:04,013
But one cannot fix--
BOTH: --two flat tires!

1862
01:08:04,013 --> 01:08:04,914
Oh!

1863
01:08:04,914 --> 01:08:07,550
You two are as worthless as
the useless junk you sell!

1864
01:08:07,550 --> 01:08:08,451
[GASPS]|

1865
01:08:08,451 --> 01:08:09,786
Do you realize that
my husband has found

1866
01:08:09,786 --> 01:08:10,987
the Crown Jewels of England?

1867
01:08:10,987 --> 01:08:12,055
And he needs me!

1868
01:08:12,055 --> 01:08:13,923
But then, that's about loyalty!

1869
01:08:13,923 --> 01:08:15,792
And you wouldn't know
anything about that!

1870
01:08:15,792 --> 01:08:16,726
Would you?!

1871
01:08:16,726 --> 01:08:17,627
We know a lot--

1872
01:08:17,627 --> 01:08:19,128
--about loyalty!

1873
01:08:19,128 --> 01:08:21,698
BOTH: (SINGING) I'm the Mighty
Workboy, and I will work--

1874
01:08:21,698 --> 01:08:22,799
Hey!
- What about--

1875
01:08:22,799 --> 01:08:24,600
- --our percentage?
- Our cut!

1876
01:08:24,600 --> 01:08:27,003
What about it?!

1877
01:08:27,003 --> 01:08:29,472
[TRUCK ENGINE RUMBLES]

1878
01:08:32,475 --> 01:08:33,476
Isn't this sweet of you?

1879
01:08:33,476 --> 01:08:34,444
DRIVER: Hop in, lady.

1880
01:08:38,581 --> 01:08:39,482
Who needs--

1881
01:08:39,482 --> 01:08:41,484
- --12%--
- --when we can have--

1882
01:08:41,484 --> 01:08:42,452
--100--

1883
01:08:42,452 --> 01:08:44,620
--percent?

1884
01:08:44,620 --> 01:08:45,855
[LAUGHTER]

1885
01:08:45,855 --> 01:08:47,490
BOTH: (SINGING) I'm
the Mighty Workboy.

1886
01:08:47,490 --> 01:08:49,359
And I will work for you.

1887
01:08:49,359 --> 01:08:52,295
I do rugs, upholstery,
and wash your dishes too.

1888
01:08:52,295 --> 01:08:53,596
I'm the Mighty Workboy.

1889
01:08:53,596 --> 01:08:55,465
I work the whole day through.

1890
01:08:55,465 --> 01:08:57,800
Just plug me in and turn me
on and see what I can do.

1891
01:08:57,800 --> 01:08:58,701
Hey!

1892
01:08:58,701 --> 01:08:59,669
You bet!

1893
01:08:59,669 --> 01:09:00,636
You bet!

1894
01:09:00,636 --> 01:09:02,105
[METAL RATTLING]

1895
01:09:02,105 --> 01:09:03,573
BOTH: It really sucks!

1896
01:09:03,573 --> 01:09:05,641
Get my helicopter in
the air immediately.

1897
01:09:05,641 --> 01:09:08,011
Let me know as soon
as you spot it.

1898
01:09:08,011 --> 01:09:10,179
What-- well, it shouldn't
be too hard to locate.

1899
01:09:10,179 --> 01:09:11,814
It's a giant cannon.

1900
01:09:11,814 --> 01:09:13,016
The size of New Jersey!

1901
01:09:13,016 --> 01:09:13,916
Now, get moving!

1902
01:09:13,916 --> 01:09:15,585
ABNER: I said, stay on the road.

1903
01:09:15,585 --> 01:09:16,586
This is off the road.

1904
01:09:16,586 --> 01:09:17,587
There's a difference, Ernest!

1905
01:09:17,587 --> 01:09:19,589
Pull the emergency brake!

1906
01:09:19,589 --> 01:09:21,557
[SCREAMING]

1907
01:09:24,060 --> 01:09:27,530
[SLOW CREAKING]

1908
01:09:31,534 --> 01:09:33,503
[WIND HOWLING]

1909
01:09:35,004 --> 01:09:37,006
Wow.

1910
01:09:37,006 --> 01:09:38,941
Would you look at that?

1911
01:09:38,941 --> 01:09:39,876
[METAL CREAKS]

1912
01:09:39,876 --> 01:09:40,777
Ah!

1913
01:09:40,777 --> 01:09:41,678
Uh, don't look.

1914
01:09:41,678 --> 01:09:43,980
You'll throw us off balance.

1915
01:09:43,980 --> 01:09:46,983
OK now, now, real easy, easy.

1916
01:09:46,983 --> 01:09:50,620
Now kinda scooch toward me.

1917
01:09:50,620 --> 01:09:51,921
I can't move.

1918
01:09:51,921 --> 01:09:52,922
I'm petrified.

1919
01:09:52,922 --> 01:09:54,424
Yes you can.

1920
01:09:54,424 --> 01:09:56,659
Just kinda scooch.

1921
01:09:56,659 --> 01:09:57,994
[SCREAMING]
ABNER: OK!

1922
01:09:57,994 --> 01:09:59,162
OK!
OK!

1923
01:09:59,162 --> 01:10:00,863
OK!
OK!

1924
01:10:00,863 --> 01:10:02,131
You looked.

1925
01:10:02,131 --> 01:10:03,332
I wasn't looking.

1926
01:10:03,332 --> 01:10:04,367
Ah!

1927
01:10:04,367 --> 01:10:05,268
Ah!

1928
01:10:05,268 --> 01:10:06,702
- You hopped.
- Hop?

1929
01:10:06,702 --> 01:10:07,804
How can you say that was a hop?

1930
01:10:07,804 --> 01:10:09,305
How could I hop on
a five-ton cannon

1931
01:10:09,305 --> 01:10:10,840
with my underwear in a wedgie?

1932
01:10:10,840 --> 01:10:14,177
I told you to
scooch and you hopped.

1933
01:10:14,177 --> 01:10:15,344
This is a scooch.

1934
01:10:15,344 --> 01:10:16,245
This is a hop--
- Oh!

1935
01:10:16,245 --> 01:10:17,613
Oh!
All right!

1936
01:10:17,613 --> 01:10:18,681
I'm scooching!
I'm scooching!

1937
01:10:18,681 --> 01:10:20,049
You're scooching and looking.

1938
01:10:20,049 --> 01:10:21,284
I was not looking.

1939
01:10:21,284 --> 01:10:22,185
I'm scooching.

1940
01:10:22,185 --> 01:10:23,553
You were scooching
and looking.

1941
01:10:23,553 --> 01:10:24,554
And that counts as a hop.

1942
01:10:24,554 --> 01:10:25,755
- Says who?
- Says gravity.

1943
01:10:25,755 --> 01:10:26,656
Fact.

1944
01:10:26,656 --> 01:10:28,524
Ah!

1945
01:10:28,524 --> 01:10:29,892
OK, OK, you win!

1946
01:10:29,892 --> 01:10:30,827
OK!

1947
01:10:30,827 --> 01:10:31,727
Yeah.

1948
01:10:31,727 --> 01:10:34,430
[CREAKING]

1949
01:10:34,430 --> 01:10:35,598
OK, OK.
- OK.

1950
01:10:35,598 --> 01:10:37,033
All right.

1951
01:10:37,033 --> 01:10:39,135
I think it's settling.

1952
01:10:39,135 --> 01:10:42,472
Now, I'm going to
slowly turn, see if I

1953
01:10:42,472 --> 01:10:43,940
can safely dismount the cannon.

1954
01:10:43,940 --> 01:10:45,341
- OK.
- OK?

1955
01:10:45,341 --> 01:10:46,342
All right.

1956
01:10:46,342 --> 01:10:47,443
All right.

1957
01:10:47,443 --> 01:10:48,344
OK.

1958
01:10:48,344 --> 01:10:49,812
[CREAKING]

1959
01:10:49,812 --> 01:10:51,247
OK.

1960
01:10:51,247 --> 01:10:54,650
[SCREAMING]

1961
01:10:56,119 --> 01:11:00,022
[WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING]

1962
01:11:00,556 --> 01:11:01,457
Ow!

1963
01:11:01,457 --> 01:11:03,893
I'm in the jungle!

1964
01:11:03,893 --> 01:11:05,495
Ernest, make this thing stop!

1965
01:11:05,495 --> 01:11:07,196
I'm trying to make it stop!

1966
01:11:07,196 --> 01:11:08,164
Ow!
Jeez!

1967
01:11:08,164 --> 01:11:09,565
Ow!
Ah!

1968
01:11:09,565 --> 01:11:10,366
- Dr. Melon.
- What?

1969
01:11:10,366 --> 01:11:11,334
Look.
Spit on your hands.

1970
01:11:11,334 --> 01:11:14,804
Rub them together, and
use them like brake shoes.

1971
01:11:14,804 --> 01:11:16,939
You need a CAT scan, Ernest.

1972
01:11:16,939 --> 01:11:19,075
Dr. Melon, stick your
legs in the spokes.

1973
01:11:19,075 --> 01:11:20,009
That'll stop us.

1974
01:11:20,009 --> 01:11:21,177
You stick your
leg in the spokes!

1975
01:11:21,177 --> 01:11:22,678
You're the idea man!
- I can't.

1976
01:11:22,678 --> 01:11:25,214
I've got anti-lock legs.

1977
01:11:25,214 --> 01:11:26,682
Ah!
- Whoa!

1978
01:11:26,682 --> 01:11:28,017
What's happening?
- Don't look!

1979
01:11:28,017 --> 01:11:28,918
Just duck!

1980
01:11:28,918 --> 01:11:31,654
[WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING]

1981
01:11:34,624 --> 01:11:35,591
[GRUNTING]

1982
01:11:35,591 --> 01:11:37,093
[CHICKEN CLUCKING]

1983
01:11:40,563 --> 01:11:44,000
[GROANING NONSENSICALLY]

1984
01:11:46,068 --> 01:11:49,205
Look, Billings, a ghost cannon
can't crash a roadblock now,

1985
01:11:49,205 --> 01:11:50,139
can it?

1986
01:11:50,139 --> 01:11:52,108
You take me for a bloody fool?

1987
01:11:52,108 --> 01:11:53,276
Me?

1988
01:11:53,276 --> 01:11:56,012
Now, listen, if your bird
can read the serial numbers

1989
01:11:56,012 --> 01:11:57,914
of an Iraqi scud
missile, it ought

1990
01:11:57,914 --> 01:12:01,184
to be able to find a cannon
wreaking havoc in traffic!

1991
01:12:01,184 --> 01:12:05,588
Well, use another satellite!

1992
01:12:05,588 --> 01:12:06,856
ABNER: It's amazing, isn't it?

1993
01:12:06,856 --> 01:12:08,524
Well, I can't believe it.
We did it.

1994
01:12:08,524 --> 01:12:09,425
We found Goliath.

1995
01:12:09,425 --> 01:12:10,326
[LAUGHS]

1996
01:12:10,326 --> 01:12:11,794
We found the Crown Jewels.

1997
01:12:11,794 --> 01:12:13,496
Well, it's amazing.

1998
01:12:13,496 --> 01:12:15,097
What's so amazing?

1999
01:12:15,097 --> 01:12:16,265
We're adventurers, aren't we?

2000
01:12:16,265 --> 01:12:17,166
True.

2001
01:12:17,166 --> 01:12:19,068
I mean like, Bonnie
and Clyde, Donald

2002
01:12:19,068 --> 01:12:21,771
and Ivana, Wilbur and Mr. Ed.

2003
01:12:21,771 --> 01:12:23,406
The stars have aligned.

2004
01:12:23,406 --> 01:12:24,974
The planet has tilted.

2005
01:12:24,974 --> 01:12:27,577
And the fat lady is on
the last three bars.

2006
01:12:27,577 --> 01:12:28,477
Oh yeah.

2007
01:12:28,477 --> 01:12:30,713
Hey, this isn't half bad.

2008
01:12:30,713 --> 01:12:33,649
Just part of the
knowledge of the open road.

2009
01:12:33,649 --> 01:12:38,788
You know, it may be sad
to realize that Nan never

2010
01:12:38,788 --> 01:12:40,623
believed the jewels existed.
- Yep.

2011
01:12:40,623 --> 01:12:42,258
I'll tell you, it's
tough on a man's ego

2012
01:12:42,258 --> 01:12:44,694
when his life mate doesn't
support his life's work.

2013
01:12:44,694 --> 01:12:46,729
Yeah.

2014
01:12:46,729 --> 01:12:48,097
[HOT WATER HISSES]

2015
01:12:48,097 --> 01:12:50,700
Mm, may come as a shock to
you, but up until this point,

2016
01:12:50,700 --> 01:12:51,634
I was afraid.

2017
01:12:51,634 --> 01:12:52,535
Yes.

2018
01:12:52,535 --> 01:12:53,436
I was afraid.

2019
01:12:53,436 --> 01:12:56,005
You know, my-- my life
just wasn't turning

2020
01:12:56,005 --> 01:12:58,107
out the way I expected it to.

2021
01:12:58,107 --> 01:13:01,744
But now, Ernest, thanks to
your help, we found Goliath.

2022
01:13:01,744 --> 01:13:04,747
World's largest
cannon, thank you.

2023
01:13:04,747 --> 01:13:07,550
And when I get those Crown
Jewels in that barrel,

2024
01:13:07,550 --> 01:13:11,254
oh boy, the world's going to
know that my theory was true.

2025
01:13:11,254 --> 01:13:12,755
I can't wait to see the
look on their faces.

2026
01:13:12,755 --> 01:13:14,323
Oh, just can't wait.

2027
01:13:14,323 --> 01:13:15,224
Life is good.

2028
01:13:15,224 --> 01:13:18,294
And all because of you, Ernest.

2029
01:13:18,294 --> 01:13:20,863
Well, thanks, Dr. Melon.

2030
01:13:20,863 --> 01:13:24,867
Oh please, Abner.

2031
01:13:24,867 --> 01:13:26,802
Abner.

2032
01:13:26,802 --> 01:13:27,837
Abner, yeah.

2033
01:13:27,837 --> 01:13:29,839
Well, I-- I guess
that means we're like,

2034
01:13:29,839 --> 01:13:30,940
real buddies now, huh?

2035
01:13:30,940 --> 01:13:33,109
Like-- like a real team.

2036
01:13:33,109 --> 01:13:36,479
Huh, I guess it does.

2037
01:13:36,479 --> 01:13:37,613
You got some
corn on your shirt.

2038
01:13:37,613 --> 01:13:38,581
- Huh?
- Gotcha.

2039
01:13:38,581 --> 01:13:39,382
[LAUGHS]
- Ernest!

2040
01:13:39,382 --> 01:13:40,449
I told you never to do that!

2041
01:13:40,449 --> 01:13:41,350
No!

2042
01:13:41,350 --> 01:13:42,251
No no!

2043
01:13:42,251 --> 01:13:44,287
I'm now Dr. Melon
to you, mister!

2044
01:13:44,287 --> 01:13:45,354
[HELICOPTER WHIRRING]

2045
01:13:45,354 --> 01:13:46,322
Stop it.
Shh.

2046
01:13:46,322 --> 01:13:47,223
Shh.

2047
01:13:47,223 --> 01:13:50,660
[SHEEP BAAING]

2048
01:13:54,063 --> 01:13:54,964
Did you hear that?

2049
01:13:54,964 --> 01:13:55,865
(WHISPERS) NO.

2050
01:13:55,865 --> 01:13:59,001
Boy, I sure did.

2051
01:13:59,001 --> 01:14:00,002
I'll be right back.

2052
01:14:02,605 --> 01:14:03,506
Whoa--

2053
01:14:06,509 --> 01:14:08,010
[TIRES SQUEAL]

2054
01:14:08,010 --> 01:14:09,011
DRIVER: Hey!

2055
01:14:09,011 --> 01:14:10,579
NAN: Yeah, this was
your truck, buddy!

2056
01:14:10,579 --> 01:14:11,614
What are you doing--
[GRUNTS]

2057
01:14:11,614 --> 01:14:13,783
NAN: Get out of here!
- Hey, come on!

2058
01:14:13,783 --> 01:14:14,784
Open that door.

2059
01:14:14,784 --> 01:14:15,685
Please!

2060
01:14:15,685 --> 01:14:16,752
NAN: I said get off!

2061
01:14:16,752 --> 01:14:17,753
Oh, jeez!

2062
01:14:20,756 --> 01:14:25,194
Ernest, you are American
ingenuity at its finest.

2063
01:14:25,194 --> 01:14:28,264
Batman and Robin ride
to glory with the stolen

2064
01:14:28,264 --> 01:14:30,199
jewels in tow.
(IMITATES VILLAIN)

2065
01:14:30,199 --> 01:14:33,169
Diamonds are forever, Mr. Bond.

2066
01:14:33,169 --> 01:14:34,070
This will

2067
01:14:34,070 --> 01:14:35,871
[ENGINE STARTS]

2068
01:14:35,871 --> 01:14:36,872
Yeah.

2069
01:14:36,872 --> 01:14:37,773
Yeah, it'll work.

2070
01:14:40,876 --> 01:14:44,347
[MUSIC PLAYING]

2071
01:14:46,849 --> 01:14:48,351
[PHONE RINGS]

2072
01:14:48,351 --> 01:14:50,152
Got him?

2073
01:14:50,152 --> 01:14:52,421
Good.

2074
01:14:52,421 --> 01:14:53,322
Gentlemen?

2075
01:14:56,359 --> 01:15:01,230
ERNEST: Ah, fresh air, birds,
the absence of small arms fire.

2076
01:15:01,230 --> 01:15:04,467
Yeah, your country life ain't
like your city environments.

2077
01:15:04,467 --> 01:15:07,036
And the folk out here, they
have their way of-- well,

2078
01:15:07,036 --> 01:15:09,739
lending a fellow
citizen a helping hand.

2079
01:15:09,739 --> 01:15:13,442
Like that farmer John guy,
lending us his tractor.

2080
01:15:13,442 --> 01:15:14,910
Then why is he following us?

2081
01:15:14,910 --> 01:15:16,679
Oh, exercise, I suppose.

2082
01:15:16,679 --> 01:15:19,815
That's why he's wearing
those massive jogging boots.

2083
01:15:19,815 --> 01:15:21,150
Tractor nappers!

2084
01:15:21,150 --> 01:15:23,919
[BEEPING]

2085
01:15:24,820 --> 01:15:27,189
Taikon 4,000 found them.

2086
01:15:27,189 --> 01:15:28,257
Lock us in on the coordinates.

2087
01:15:28,257 --> 01:15:29,492
Let's go.

2088
01:15:29,492 --> 01:15:30,493
[ENGINES START]

2089
01:15:33,996 --> 01:15:37,400
[RUMBLING]

2090
01:15:42,271 --> 01:15:44,306
ERNEST: Oh no.

2091
01:15:44,306 --> 01:15:46,342
Stopped by apple maggots again.

2092
01:15:46,342 --> 01:15:49,011
Well, we can turn this
thing around, can't we?

2093
01:15:49,011 --> 01:15:49,912
[TIRES SQUEAL]

2094
01:15:49,912 --> 01:15:53,382
[MUSIC PLAYING]
- Uh-oh.

2095
01:15:53,382 --> 01:15:55,818
It's that crazy doctor
in the Batmobile.

2096
01:15:55,818 --> 01:15:56,719
Oh, oh!

2097
01:15:56,719 --> 01:16:00,189
[MUSIC PLAYING]

2098
01:16:01,924 --> 01:16:03,259
Oh! oh, we're in it now.

2099
01:16:03,259 --> 01:16:04,160
We're trapped.

2100
01:16:07,129 --> 01:16:09,064
Boy, this is just great.

2101
01:16:09,064 --> 01:16:10,800
This is like that
John Wayne movie,

2102
01:16:10,800 --> 01:16:12,435
when him and Butch
Cassidy were surrounded

2103
01:16:12,435 --> 01:16:13,636
by all those army guys.

2104
01:16:13,636 --> 01:16:14,537
Ernest!

2105
01:16:14,537 --> 01:16:15,838
Yeah, see, you're
Butch because you

2106
01:16:15,838 --> 01:16:16,739
do all the thinking.

2107
01:16:16,739 --> 01:16:19,175
And I'm Sundance because well,
I'm slightly better looking.

2108
01:16:19,175 --> 01:16:21,844
Anyway, they're surrounded by
the Mexican army in Bulgaria.

2109
01:16:21,844 --> 01:16:23,145
Bolivia.
They were in Bolivia.

2110
01:16:23,145 --> 01:16:24,046
Yeah, yeah, that's it.

2111
01:16:24,046 --> 01:16:24,947
Bolivia.

2112
01:16:24,947 --> 01:16:26,015
They were killed in Bolivia.

2113
01:16:26,015 --> 01:16:28,184
Well, maybe they should've
stayed in Bulgaria.

2114
01:16:28,184 --> 01:16:30,119
Anyway, Butch and the
Kid didn't have Goliath.

2115
01:16:30,119 --> 01:16:32,755
And we do.

2116
01:16:32,755 --> 01:16:33,823
Oh no!

2117
01:16:33,823 --> 01:16:34,790
Oh-ho-ho!

2118
01:16:34,790 --> 01:16:36,225
Oh, Ernest, please.

2119
01:16:36,225 --> 01:16:37,626
You can't be serious.

2120
01:16:37,626 --> 01:16:40,696
Its' just like Davy Crockett
and Jim Bowie at the Alamo.

2121
01:16:40,696 --> 01:16:42,531
Right before Santa
Anna rushes in!

2122
01:16:42,531 --> 01:16:44,200
- Ernest, you can't.
- Sure I can.

2123
01:16:44,200 --> 01:16:45,334
I'm always Davy Crockett.

2124
01:16:45,334 --> 01:16:47,436
Please, Ernest, please.

2125
01:16:47,436 --> 01:16:49,338
Well, surely we can
reason with them.

2126
01:16:49,338 --> 01:16:50,473
They seem like
reasonable people.

2127
01:16:50,473 --> 01:16:51,373
Look.

2128
01:16:51,373 --> 01:16:52,675
Look, look, they have a
nice car and everything.

2129
01:16:52,675 --> 01:16:53,843
Faster!

2130
01:16:53,843 --> 01:16:56,679
Faster!

2131
01:16:56,679 --> 01:16:59,014
You can't reason
with the Mexican army.

2132
01:16:59,014 --> 01:17:01,917
We don't even speak Bulgarian!

2133
01:17:01,917 --> 01:17:03,719
Ernest!
Don't!

2134
01:17:03,719 --> 01:17:05,087
Please, look, consider
the ramifications!

2135
01:17:05,087 --> 01:17:07,656
We don't have
any ramifications!

2136
01:17:07,656 --> 01:17:09,058
All we have is this cannon!

2137
01:17:09,058 --> 01:17:10,226
The Jewels!

2138
01:17:10,226 --> 01:17:11,760
You'll destroy the Jewels!

2139
01:17:11,760 --> 01:17:13,729
Goliath must speak!

2140
01:17:13,729 --> 01:17:15,097
No, no!
Ernest!

2141
01:17:15,097 --> 01:17:15,965
Ernest!
Ernest!

2142
01:17:15,965 --> 01:17:17,099
Don't please!

2143
01:17:17,099 --> 01:17:18,000
Ernest, now, look!

2144
01:17:18,000 --> 01:17:18,901
Look!

2145
01:17:18,901 --> 01:17:20,269
Use your head for
once in your life!

2146
01:17:20,269 --> 01:17:21,170
Look, put the fire down!

2147
01:17:21,170 --> 01:17:22,071
[LIGHTER FLICKING]

2148
01:17:22,071 --> 01:17:23,005
There they are!

2149
01:17:23,005 --> 01:17:26,242
Now you can shoot them.

2150
01:17:26,242 --> 01:17:27,142
[GUNFIRE]

2151
01:17:27,142 --> 01:17:28,143
Be a moving target.

2152
01:17:28,143 --> 01:17:29,144
Be a moving target.

2153
01:17:29,144 --> 01:17:32,147
Abner, it's us or the jewels.

2154
01:17:32,147 --> 01:17:35,651
[GUNFIRE]

2155
01:17:35,651 --> 01:17:39,655
[MUSIC PLAYING]

2156
01:17:40,756 --> 01:17:41,624
No!

2157
01:17:41,624 --> 01:17:42,525
Stop!

2158
01:17:45,227 --> 01:17:46,128
[BOOM]

2159
01:17:48,731 --> 01:17:49,632
Oh!

2160
01:17:54,136 --> 01:17:55,638
Stop the car.

2161
01:17:55,638 --> 01:17:56,639
No.

2162
01:17:56,639 --> 01:17:58,140
The brakes!
The brakes!

2163
01:17:58,140 --> 01:17:59,141
[CRASH]

2164
01:18:10,653 --> 01:18:13,055
Some kick.

2165
01:18:13,055 --> 01:18:16,492
[GROANING]

2166
01:18:18,961 --> 01:18:21,897
It fired.

2167
01:18:21,897 --> 01:18:22,898
It fired.

2168
01:18:26,835 --> 01:18:30,172
Phil Gunner Worrell,
reporting the directive, sir.

2169
01:18:30,172 --> 01:18:31,240
The cannonball.

2170
01:18:31,240 --> 01:18:34,176
Yep, about a 500-pounder,
if I'm any judge of artillery.

2171
01:18:34,176 --> 01:18:35,077
And I am.

2172
01:18:35,077 --> 01:18:37,179
There were no jewels.

2173
01:18:37,179 --> 01:18:39,014
No, but that big
mama came smoking

2174
01:18:39,014 --> 01:18:40,816
out of there about 500 FPS.

2175
01:18:40,816 --> 01:18:44,119
There were no
Crown Jewels, Ernest!

2176
01:18:44,119 --> 01:18:46,956
This is all your fault!

2177
01:18:46,956 --> 01:18:48,157
You've ruined my life!

2178
01:18:48,157 --> 01:18:49,825
But I thought
you and me were--

2179
01:18:49,825 --> 01:18:51,293
Oh, you and me, nothing!

2180
01:18:51,293 --> 01:18:56,432
I'm a figure of
ridicule, a buffoon!

2181
01:18:56,432 --> 01:18:59,168
And none of it would have
happened if I hadn't have

2182
01:18:59,168 --> 01:19:00,803
joined you in this--

2183
01:19:00,803 --> 01:19:02,638
this idiot's adventure.

2184
01:19:02,638 --> 01:19:03,906
But I believed in you, Abner.

2185
01:19:03,906 --> 01:19:05,474
Oh, get out of my sight.

2186
01:19:05,474 --> 01:19:07,209
Never talk to me again.

2187
01:19:07,209 --> 01:19:08,944
I'm going home to
scrape together

2188
01:19:08,944 --> 01:19:11,647
what's left of my life.

2189
01:19:11,647 --> 01:19:14,717
But we were
Butch and Sundance.

2190
01:19:14,717 --> 01:19:17,553
Get in the real world, Ernest.

2191
01:19:17,553 --> 01:19:19,321
And keep out of mine.

2192
01:19:19,321 --> 01:19:22,925
I mean it.

2193
01:19:22,925 --> 01:19:24,660
Luke and Han Solo.

2194
01:19:28,230 --> 01:19:30,866
Ren and Stimpy.

2195
01:19:30,866 --> 01:19:33,902
Boy, this is just great.

2196
01:19:33,902 --> 01:19:36,972
Robin Hood finally finds
Little John and what happens?

2197
01:19:36,972 --> 01:19:40,109
He runs him out of
the Sherwood Forest.

2198
01:19:40,109 --> 01:19:44,013
Well, guess I just
tried too hard.

2199
01:19:44,013 --> 01:19:45,014
I guess I--

2200
01:19:45,014 --> 01:19:48,484
I'm just a lone wolf,
doomed to travel alone

2201
01:19:48,484 --> 01:19:50,519
on the highway of adventure.

2202
01:19:50,519 --> 01:19:52,054
[METAL CLANGS, ECHOES]

2203
01:19:52,955 --> 01:19:53,922
Ow.

2204
01:19:53,922 --> 01:19:56,425
[GRUNTING]

2205
01:19:56,425 --> 01:19:58,427
Ow!

2206
01:19:58,427 --> 01:19:59,428
[METAL CLANGS, ECHOES]

2207
01:19:59,428 --> 01:20:00,329
Ow!

2208
01:20:00,329 --> 01:20:01,397
Ow!

2209
01:20:01,397 --> 01:20:02,398
Ow!

2210
01:20:02,398 --> 01:20:03,499
Ow!
God!

2211
01:20:03,499 --> 01:20:04,400
Ow!

2212
01:20:24,320 --> 01:20:25,821
[COUGHING]

2213
01:20:27,790 --> 01:20:29,525
I don't believe this.

2214
01:20:29,525 --> 01:20:30,426
What is this?

2215
01:20:30,426 --> 01:20:32,027
It weighs 600 pounds.

2216
01:20:32,027 --> 01:20:35,364
ERNEST: As Indiana
approaches and reaches

2217
01:20:35,364 --> 01:20:41,570
for his sacred prize, all his
senses are attuned to the power

2218
01:20:41,570 --> 01:20:44,006
that it brings.

2219
01:20:44,006 --> 01:20:48,944
As he unearths his
treasure, the entire focus

2220
01:20:48,944 --> 01:20:53,382
of the civilized world is
trained on this moment.

2221
01:20:57,386 --> 01:20:59,621
[IMITATES FANFARE]

2222
01:21:08,297 --> 01:21:12,801
(WITH ACCENT) Stand back
you groveling minions.

2223
01:21:12,801 --> 01:21:15,370
And prepare to meet
your sovereign.

2224
01:21:18,340 --> 01:21:20,743
Abner!
Abner!

2225
01:21:20,743 --> 01:21:21,643
Abner!

2226
01:21:21,643 --> 01:21:22,578
I haven't seen anything like
this since the Bay of Pigs.

2227
01:21:22,578 --> 01:21:23,479
ERNEST: Hey, Abner!

2228
01:21:23,479 --> 01:21:24,446
I found 'em!

2229
01:21:24,446 --> 01:21:26,615
I found the Crown Jewels!

2230
01:21:26,615 --> 01:21:29,051
They were in the
secret compartment!

2231
01:21:29,051 --> 01:21:30,119
They weren't in the barrel!

2232
01:21:30,119 --> 01:21:31,019
They were in the barrel.

2233
01:21:31,019 --> 01:21:32,921
The keg barrel!

2234
01:21:32,921 --> 01:21:33,889
Abner!

2235
01:21:33,889 --> 01:21:36,258
Hey, Abner!

2236
01:21:36,258 --> 01:21:38,694
Gentlemen.

2237
01:21:38,694 --> 01:21:40,195
Abner!

2238
01:21:40,195 --> 01:21:41,363
Come back!

2239
01:21:41,363 --> 01:21:45,167
Your entire life's work
has achieved its purpose!

2240
01:21:45,167 --> 01:21:46,335
Look, Abner!

2241
01:21:46,335 --> 01:21:49,371
I'm wearing the Crown
of England right on my--

2242
01:21:51,707 --> 01:21:52,608
head.

2243
01:21:52,608 --> 01:21:53,542
[LAUGHS]

2244
01:21:55,878 --> 01:21:59,081
Just uh, trying it
on to see if it fits.

2245
01:21:59,081 --> 01:22:02,418
You know, king for
a day and all that.

2246
01:22:02,418 --> 01:22:05,320
Nothing like a little
royalty to boost a guy's ego.

2247
01:22:05,320 --> 01:22:06,221
Know what I mean?

2248
01:22:06,221 --> 01:22:07,289
[LAUGHS]

2249
01:22:08,023 --> 01:22:08,924
Well, just a moment.

2250
01:22:08,924 --> 01:22:11,226
I'll-- I'll pop this thing
right off and give it to you.

2251
01:22:11,226 --> 01:22:12,294
[LAUGHS]

2252
01:22:12,294 --> 01:22:13,195
Yes, sir.

2253
01:22:13,195 --> 01:22:14,096
No problem.

2254
01:22:14,096 --> 01:22:15,330
[SQUEAKING]

2255
01:22:15,330 --> 01:22:16,231
Oh.

2256
01:22:19,034 --> 01:22:21,637
Get it off of him.

2257
01:22:21,637 --> 01:22:24,239
[GRUNTING]

2258
01:22:24,239 --> 01:22:25,140
Ow!

2259
01:22:25,140 --> 01:22:26,575
[METAL CLANKS]

2260
01:22:28,544 --> 01:22:30,012
[SQUEAKING]

2261
01:22:30,012 --> 01:22:32,981
[GRUNTING]

2262
01:22:33,882 --> 01:22:34,883
Oh, God, no, no, no.

2263
01:22:34,883 --> 01:22:37,319
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

2264
01:22:37,319 --> 01:22:38,287
Oh, ow!

2265
01:22:38,287 --> 01:22:39,321
Ah!
Ah!

2266
01:22:39,321 --> 01:22:40,722
- Me turn.
- Ugh!

2267
01:22:40,722 --> 01:22:41,790
Ugh!
Ugh!

2268
01:22:41,790 --> 01:22:43,425
Ow.
THUG: Push!

2269
01:22:43,425 --> 01:22:44,326
Oh, push!

2270
01:22:44,326 --> 01:22:46,461
We've wasted enough time.

2271
01:22:46,461 --> 01:22:47,629
We'll take him to the clinic.

2272
01:22:47,629 --> 01:22:50,065
(SINGING) I'm
the Mighty Workboy

2273
01:22:50,065 --> 01:22:51,500
and I will work for you.

2274
01:22:51,500 --> 01:22:53,268
That's the chaps who
were with Melon's wife.

2275
01:22:53,268 --> 01:22:54,269
Assemble the unit.

2276
01:22:54,269 --> 01:22:55,771
BOTH: (SINGING) --wash
your dishes too.

2277
01:23:11,820 --> 01:23:12,788
Abner.

2278
01:23:12,788 --> 01:23:14,156
Oh!

2279
01:23:14,156 --> 01:23:15,290
Turtledove!

2280
01:23:15,290 --> 01:23:16,458
Are you all right?

2281
01:23:16,458 --> 01:23:17,826
Oh, you look a mess.

2282
01:23:17,826 --> 01:23:18,727
[GASPS]

2283
01:23:18,727 --> 01:23:19,761
There's a wittle bwuise.

2284
01:23:19,761 --> 01:23:22,631
Let nammy-nam make
'em all better.

2285
01:23:22,631 --> 01:23:24,066
There.

2286
01:23:24,066 --> 01:23:26,101
I saw that Ernest riding
that cannon thing.

2287
01:23:26,101 --> 01:23:27,336
And you were chasing
right after it.

2288
01:23:27,336 --> 01:23:29,037
And I thought to
myself, my widdle baby's

2289
01:23:29,037 --> 01:23:30,572
going to get a boo-boo.

2290
01:23:30,572 --> 01:23:32,541
Was that the thing you
were looking for, dear?

2291
01:23:32,541 --> 01:23:34,009
Yes, Nan, that's the thing.

2292
01:23:34,009 --> 01:23:35,577
Well, let's take those
troublesome jewels,

2293
01:23:35,577 --> 01:23:36,712
put them in the
back of the truck,

2294
01:23:36,712 --> 01:23:38,614
and I'll just make all
the press arrangements.

2295
01:23:38,614 --> 01:23:40,282
You know, I will have to
have a new outfit if I'm

2296
01:23:40,282 --> 01:23:41,283
going to be on "Donahue."

2297
01:23:41,283 --> 01:23:42,784
[LAUGHS]

2298
01:23:42,784 --> 01:23:45,254
Tell me I'm pretty.

2299
01:23:45,254 --> 01:23:46,521
You're pretty.

2300
01:23:46,521 --> 01:23:48,023
Oh, this is so exciting.

2301
01:23:48,023 --> 01:23:50,359
My little Abner's found the
Crown Jewels of England.

2302
01:23:50,359 --> 01:23:51,260
Gimme a kiss.

2303
01:23:51,260 --> 01:23:52,494
No we didn't.

2304
01:23:52,494 --> 01:23:53,795
What?

2305
01:23:53,795 --> 01:23:56,131
We didn't find
any jewels, Nan.

2306
01:23:56,131 --> 01:23:57,666
You didn't find any jewels?

2307
01:23:57,666 --> 01:24:00,002
That's what I said.

2308
01:24:00,002 --> 01:24:00,936
[SIGHS]

2309
01:24:01,870 --> 01:24:05,607
You know, this has that
Ernest written all over it.

2310
01:24:05,607 --> 01:24:06,842
It is a complete
mystery to me how

2311
01:24:06,842 --> 01:24:08,544
you can even stand to
be in the same room

2312
01:24:08,544 --> 01:24:09,945
with that inane redneck.

2313
01:24:09,945 --> 01:24:11,380
I just don't
understand it, Abner.

2314
01:24:11,380 --> 01:24:12,648
He embarrassed
you, not to mention

2315
01:24:12,648 --> 01:24:14,449
me, at Dr. Glencliff's clinic.

2316
01:24:14,449 --> 01:24:17,019
More to the point, he has now
caused you to lose your job.

2317
01:24:17,019 --> 01:24:18,553
Now, what on God's
green earth has

2318
01:24:18,553 --> 01:24:20,389
that Ernest ever done for you?

2319
01:24:20,389 --> 01:24:21,290
A lot!

2320
01:24:21,290 --> 01:24:22,424
Oh really?

2321
01:24:22,424 --> 01:24:23,926
Really.

2322
01:24:23,926 --> 01:24:28,330
As a matter of fact,
he's changed my life.

2323
01:24:28,330 --> 01:24:29,364
Well, I'm sorry, darling.

2324
01:24:29,364 --> 01:24:31,333
I just don't see it.

2325
01:24:37,272 --> 01:24:38,273
Abner--

2326
01:24:38,273 --> 01:24:40,242
[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]

2327
01:24:40,242 --> 01:24:43,211
[MOANING]

2328
01:24:43,211 --> 01:24:45,213
(IMITATES ELVIS) Clear
enough for you now, baby?

2329
01:24:45,213 --> 01:24:48,183
Yeah.

2330
01:24:48,183 --> 01:24:50,152
A hubba hubba.

2331
01:24:50,152 --> 01:24:52,220
[MUSIC PLAYING]

2332
01:24:52,220 --> 01:24:53,121
Ooh.

2333
01:24:57,659 --> 01:24:58,560
Ernest!

2334
01:25:08,036 --> 01:25:08,937
They got him.

2335
01:25:11,540 --> 01:25:12,507
Wait.

2336
01:25:12,507 --> 01:25:14,509
Listen, shouldn't you guys
have those little paper

2337
01:25:14,509 --> 01:25:16,945
masks on so your bad breath
won't give me any infections?

2338
01:25:16,945 --> 01:25:17,846
Ow!

2339
01:25:17,846 --> 01:25:19,181
I wouldn't worry
about infection.

2340
01:25:19,181 --> 01:25:20,449
No, of course not.

2341
01:25:20,449 --> 01:25:23,352
I've got medical insurance with
an 800-number and everything.

2342
01:25:23,352 --> 01:25:24,987
Cranial bone saw.

2343
01:25:24,987 --> 01:25:26,254
Have you been a
good blood donor?

2344
01:25:26,254 --> 01:25:28,256
Oh, not as good as I
should be, I suppose.

2345
01:25:28,256 --> 01:25:30,425
You're about to catch up.

2346
01:25:30,425 --> 01:25:31,360
[BUZZING]

2347
01:25:31,360 --> 01:25:32,327
[GRUNTS]

2348
01:25:32,327 --> 01:25:34,997
Oh, um, don't I get an
anesthetic, like an aspirin

2349
01:25:34,997 --> 01:25:36,164
or a bullet to bite?

2350
01:25:36,164 --> 01:25:37,566
Hold his head still.

2351
01:25:37,566 --> 01:25:40,102
Modern anesthetic has been
used successfully in operating

2352
01:25:40,102 --> 01:25:42,304
theaters since the early 1840s.

2353
01:25:42,304 --> 01:25:46,308
And who are we to scoff at the
success of modern medicine?

2354
01:25:46,308 --> 01:25:48,877
How about a couple of games
of golf to kind of, you know,

2355
01:25:48,877 --> 01:25:49,811
loosen this up a bit.

2356
01:25:49,811 --> 01:25:50,712
Ow.

2357
01:25:50,712 --> 01:25:52,047
[BUZZING]

2358
01:25:52,047 --> 01:25:53,515
Oh-- ahh!

2359
01:26:00,689 --> 01:26:01,690
Whew.

2360
01:26:01,690 --> 01:26:03,058
I'm glad it was the hard end.

2361
01:26:03,058 --> 01:26:04,026
[LAUGHS]

2362
01:26:04,026 --> 01:26:05,627
I don't believe this.

2363
01:26:05,627 --> 01:26:06,528
Whoa!

2364
01:26:06,528 --> 01:26:07,429
Ah!

2365
01:26:07,429 --> 01:26:08,497
Ow!

2366
01:26:08,497 --> 01:26:09,498
[GRUNTING]

2367
01:26:09,498 --> 01:26:11,466
[BEEPING]

2368
01:26:13,468 --> 01:26:16,938
[SWOOSHING]

2369
01:26:16,938 --> 01:26:17,939
Get back!

2370
01:26:17,939 --> 01:26:19,908
I'll call the cops!

2371
01:26:19,908 --> 01:26:21,410
Ah!

2372
01:26:21,410 --> 01:26:22,878
[GRUNTING]

2373
01:26:22,878 --> 01:26:24,880
Leave me alone!

2374
01:26:24,880 --> 01:26:25,881
Stop it!

2375
01:26:25,881 --> 01:26:28,250
Oh no you guys don't!

2376
01:26:28,250 --> 01:26:30,652
Stop!

2377
01:26:30,652 --> 01:26:31,553
FRANK: Those jewels--

2378
01:26:31,553 --> 01:26:32,721
JOE: --have got to
be around here--

2379
01:26:32,721 --> 01:26:33,922
FRANK: --somewhere.

2380
01:26:33,922 --> 01:26:36,258
Look!

2381
01:26:36,258 --> 01:26:38,894
BOTH: The stretch limo.

2382
01:26:38,894 --> 01:26:40,595
[LAUGHTER]

2383
01:26:41,596 --> 01:26:43,065
[BEEPING]

2384
01:26:43,065 --> 01:26:44,566
[GROANS]

2385
01:26:47,536 --> 01:26:48,537
[BEEPS]

2386
01:26:49,304 --> 01:26:50,205
Get up.

2387
01:26:50,205 --> 01:26:52,374
Get up. get up.

2388
01:26:52,374 --> 01:26:54,076
Worrell!

2389
01:26:54,076 --> 01:26:56,044
I'm going to gut you
like a dead fish.

2390
01:26:56,044 --> 01:26:56,945
[GRUNTS]

2391
01:26:56,945 --> 01:26:59,214
(AS ANNOUNCER) It's demolition
derby night at the fairgrounds.

2392
01:26:59,214 --> 01:27:02,117
And reverse is the
gear of choice.

2393
01:27:02,117 --> 01:27:03,118
[GROANING]

2394
01:27:03,118 --> 01:27:06,088
Sunday, Sunday,
Sunday, kids eat free.

2395
01:27:06,088 --> 01:27:09,558
[MUSIC PLAYING]

2396
01:27:12,060 --> 01:27:15,030
[GRUNTING]

2397
01:27:25,474 --> 01:27:26,975
[LAUGHS]

2398
01:27:26,975 --> 01:27:28,443
Oh no!

2399
01:27:28,443 --> 01:27:31,947
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

2400
01:27:37,886 --> 01:27:38,887
Time out.

2401
01:27:42,858 --> 01:27:46,361
King's X. Safeties.

2402
01:27:46,361 --> 01:27:49,331
Uh-- ah-- ah--

2403
01:27:53,802 --> 01:27:57,272
[WHIRRING]

2404
01:28:03,345 --> 01:28:04,246
Ah!

2405
01:28:09,217 --> 01:28:11,686
[SCREAMS]

2406
01:28:11,686 --> 01:28:14,289
Boy, this baby
really sucks dirt.

2407
01:28:14,289 --> 01:28:15,157
And scum.

2408
01:28:15,157 --> 01:28:18,226
I'll kill you!

2409
01:28:18,226 --> 01:28:19,127
Hold him back--

2410
01:28:19,127 --> 01:28:21,630
--further.

2411
01:28:21,630 --> 01:28:22,631
[VACUUM STOPS]

2412
01:28:27,869 --> 01:28:29,604
Well, I-- I think that
that concludes our uh--

2413
01:28:29,604 --> 01:28:30,739
--dem-- dem-demonstration.

2414
01:28:30,739 --> 01:28:31,640
Of the--

2415
01:28:31,640 --> 01:28:35,677
BOTH: --M-M-Mighty Workboy
h--h--home cleaning system.

2416
01:28:35,677 --> 01:28:38,547
Um-- (SINGING) I
am Mighty Workboy.

2417
01:28:38,547 --> 01:28:39,447
Oh!

2418
01:28:39,447 --> 01:28:40,582
DISPLAY: (SINGING)
I do upholstery

2419
01:28:40,582 --> 01:28:41,883
and wash your dishes too.

2420
01:28:41,883 --> 01:28:45,353
BOTH: I will work-- for-- you.

2421
01:28:45,353 --> 01:28:46,321
[CRUNCHES]

2422
01:28:46,321 --> 01:28:49,791
[MUSIC PLAYING]

2423
01:28:59,234 --> 01:29:01,703
[CREAKS]

2424
01:29:01,703 --> 01:29:03,805
ERNEST: Ow!

2425
01:29:03,805 --> 01:29:05,273
[GROANING]

2426
01:29:10,745 --> 01:29:11,746
Ouch.

2427
01:29:11,746 --> 01:29:12,714
Ow.

2428
01:29:12,714 --> 01:29:13,715
Ow.

2429
01:29:13,715 --> 01:29:14,716
Ow.

2430
01:29:14,716 --> 01:29:16,184
Ow.

2431
01:29:16,184 --> 01:29:17,319
Ow.

2432
01:29:17,319 --> 01:29:18,753
Oh, sorry.
Sorry about--

2433
01:29:18,753 --> 01:29:19,487
- Oh!
- Oh!

2434
01:29:19,487 --> 01:29:19,988
Sorry!
Sorry.

2435
01:29:19,988 --> 01:29:21,022
Excuse me!
Sorry, pardon me.

2436
01:29:21,022 --> 01:29:22,224
Pardon me.

2437
01:29:22,224 --> 01:29:25,227
Oh.

2438
01:29:25,227 --> 01:29:26,228
Where is he?

2439
01:29:26,228 --> 01:29:29,731
[MUSIC PLAYING]

2440
01:29:37,205 --> 01:29:38,206
[GULPS]

2441
01:29:39,307 --> 01:29:40,208
Ow.

2442
01:29:40,208 --> 01:29:41,810
Ow.

2443
01:29:41,810 --> 01:29:42,711
Ow.

2444
01:29:42,711 --> 01:29:43,712
[LAUGHS]

2445
01:29:47,182 --> 01:29:48,183
[GRUNTS]

2446
01:29:50,185 --> 01:29:51,453
[SNIFFS]

2447
01:29:51,453 --> 01:29:52,354
Ew.

2448
01:29:52,354 --> 01:29:53,955
Need a good doctor?

2449
01:29:59,094 --> 01:30:00,362
Come on, we can
get this crown off.

2450
01:30:00,362 --> 01:30:02,130
I know we can.
Let's be creative.

2451
01:30:02,130 --> 01:30:03,298
Hold still.

2452
01:30:03,298 --> 01:30:06,835
We haven't even tried
Mrs. Butterworth's.

2453
01:30:06,835 --> 01:30:08,737
GLENCLIFF: Hold still.

2454
01:30:08,737 --> 01:30:09,771
There we go.

2455
01:30:09,771 --> 01:30:10,672
Ah.

2456
01:30:15,443 --> 01:30:16,411
[LAUGHS]

2457
01:30:16,411 --> 01:30:18,146
Or olive oil.

2458
01:30:18,146 --> 01:30:19,147
[GRUNTS]

2459
01:30:22,083 --> 01:30:24,286
Or automatic transmission fluid.

2460
01:30:24,286 --> 01:30:25,253
[GRUNTS]

2461
01:30:26,721 --> 01:30:28,657
[LAUGHS]

2462
01:30:28,657 --> 01:30:29,591
Or lip gloss.

2463
01:30:29,591 --> 01:30:32,494
Lip gloss, you--

2464
01:30:32,494 --> 01:30:33,461
[GRUNTS]

2465
01:30:35,864 --> 01:30:38,300
Ha!

2466
01:30:38,300 --> 01:30:39,267
ERNEST: Moving target.

2467
01:30:39,267 --> 01:30:40,235
Moving target.

2468
01:30:40,235 --> 01:30:42,203
You can't hit a moving target.

2469
01:30:42,203 --> 01:30:43,838
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

2470
01:30:43,838 --> 01:30:45,106
Hurry.
Hurry.

2471
01:30:45,106 --> 01:30:46,107
Step right up.

2472
01:30:46,107 --> 01:30:47,442
Three shots for $1.

2473
01:30:47,442 --> 01:30:49,444
[INAUDIBLE] for the little girl.

2474
01:30:49,444 --> 01:30:51,613
You couldn't hit the
broad side of a barn.

2475
01:30:57,552 --> 01:30:58,887
Hey you.

2476
01:30:58,887 --> 01:31:00,689
Stop.

2477
01:31:00,689 --> 01:31:02,624
You got some ID?

2478
01:31:02,624 --> 01:31:03,692
I'm Dr. Abner Melon.

2479
01:31:03,692 --> 01:31:07,996
I'm here to see Dr.
Radner Glencliff.

2480
01:31:07,996 --> 01:31:13,168
He-- he uh-- he wants to buy
this off me for $100,000.

2481
01:31:13,168 --> 01:31:14,069
Can you imagine?

2482
01:31:14,069 --> 01:31:16,404
Go figure.

2483
01:31:16,404 --> 01:31:19,040
Hey, I didn't say
you could pass.

2484
01:31:19,040 --> 01:31:22,243
Oh, uh, when dealing with
items of such rare antiquity,

2485
01:31:22,243 --> 01:31:23,478
it's best to go
right on through.

2486
01:31:23,478 --> 01:31:24,813
I don't know
nothing about that.

2487
01:31:24,813 --> 01:31:25,981
Now blow.

2488
01:31:25,981 --> 01:31:28,516
But surely you know
the danger of taking--

2489
01:31:28,516 --> 01:31:29,617
I'm done talking with you.

2490
01:31:29,617 --> 01:31:32,087
Now, beat it, pipsqueak.

2491
01:31:38,493 --> 01:31:40,095
Excuse me, sir,
I couldn't help

2492
01:31:40,095 --> 01:31:42,364
but admire that marvelous
uniform you're wearing.

2493
01:31:42,364 --> 01:31:45,233
And I was wondering, is
that a Wilson whistle?

2494
01:31:45,233 --> 01:31:46,201
[GRUNTS]

2495
01:31:49,671 --> 01:31:52,140
[LAUGHS]

2496
01:31:56,511 --> 01:31:57,779
Ran out of bullets,
didn't you, doc?

2497
01:32:00,382 --> 01:32:03,618
GLENCLIFF: I'll tear your
head off with my bare hands!

2498
01:32:03,618 --> 01:32:07,055
[GRUNTING]

2499
01:32:08,556 --> 01:32:10,025
[INHALING]

2500
01:32:10,025 --> 01:32:11,026
[GULPS]

2501
01:32:17,432 --> 01:32:20,902
[CHOKING]

2502
01:32:21,970 --> 01:32:22,871
Ow!

2503
01:32:25,840 --> 01:32:27,876
Ow!

2504
01:32:27,876 --> 01:32:29,511
Old football injury, huh?

2505
01:32:29,511 --> 01:32:30,845
[LAUGHS]

2506
01:32:32,914 --> 01:32:34,549
Oh no, I'm Bigfoot.

2507
01:32:34,549 --> 01:32:38,052
[MUSIC PLAYING]

2508
01:32:43,191 --> 01:32:44,092
Wait a minute!

2509
01:32:44,092 --> 01:32:45,093
[LAUGHS]

2510
01:32:47,095 --> 01:32:48,062
[GRUNTS]

2511
01:32:48,062 --> 01:32:51,633
GLENCLIFF: You wrecked my limo,
ruined my cranial bone saw.

2512
01:32:51,633 --> 01:32:53,902
ERNEST: You're tearing your rug.

2513
01:32:53,902 --> 01:32:56,805
GLENCLIFF: And worst of
all, demolished my mummy.

2514
01:32:56,805 --> 01:33:00,508
Aren't you forgetting
the Hippocratic Oath?

2515
01:33:00,508 --> 01:33:03,244
Weren't those axes
outlawed in Geneva?

2516
01:33:03,244 --> 01:33:04,646
Hold on, Ernest.

2517
01:33:04,646 --> 01:33:05,580
I'm coming.

2518
01:33:08,817 --> 01:33:10,351
You dear, sweet man.

2519
01:33:10,351 --> 01:33:11,252
What happened?

2520
01:33:11,252 --> 01:33:13,154
- He caught me off guard.
- Oh dear.

2521
01:33:13,154 --> 01:33:15,089
Tell me, which way to
Dr. Glencliff's office?

2522
01:33:15,089 --> 01:33:16,724
It's in the rear
of the building.

2523
01:33:16,724 --> 01:33:17,692
But you're not allowed--

2524
01:33:17,692 --> 01:33:19,093
Oh, but I think I am.

2525
01:33:19,093 --> 01:33:20,528
There we go.

2526
01:33:20,528 --> 01:33:23,932
[MUSIC PLAYING]

2527
01:33:25,967 --> 01:33:26,868
Oh!

2528
01:33:26,868 --> 01:33:28,403
I should have
got the crown off

2529
01:33:28,403 --> 01:33:29,504
like this in the first place.

2530
01:33:29,504 --> 01:33:30,638
Wait a minute.

2531
01:33:30,638 --> 01:33:32,640
Has that thing been sterilized?

2532
01:33:32,640 --> 01:33:33,575
[GRUNTS]

2533
01:33:33,575 --> 01:33:35,443
[SCREAMS]

2534
01:33:35,443 --> 01:33:36,344
No!

2535
01:33:36,344 --> 01:33:37,946
The dog ate my homework!

2536
01:33:37,946 --> 01:33:38,847
My foot's asleep!

2537
01:33:38,847 --> 01:33:41,182
I've got to go to the bathroom!

2538
01:33:41,182 --> 01:33:43,451
I haven't had a vaccination!

2539
01:33:43,451 --> 01:33:44,519
Don't kill me!

2540
01:33:44,519 --> 01:33:45,420
Don't kill me!

2541
01:33:45,420 --> 01:33:46,888
Don't kill me!

2542
01:33:46,888 --> 01:33:48,323
[GROANING]

2543
01:33:51,793 --> 01:33:52,694
[THUD]

2544
01:33:52,694 --> 01:33:54,629
Yes!

2545
01:33:54,629 --> 01:33:56,097
[SCREAMS]

2546
01:33:58,533 --> 01:33:59,567
Ernest, are you OK?

2547
01:33:59,567 --> 01:34:00,468
Are you all right?

2548
01:34:00,468 --> 01:34:01,469
[GROANS]

2549
01:34:04,472 --> 01:34:06,574
Oh, whoa.

2550
01:34:06,574 --> 01:34:08,776
Well, that Dr.
Glencliff is sure lucky

2551
01:34:08,776 --> 01:34:10,478
I didn't use the
Worrell death grip.

2552
01:34:10,478 --> 01:34:11,379
Uh-huh.

2553
01:34:11,379 --> 01:34:12,881
Look at the crown.

2554
01:34:12,881 --> 01:34:13,781
And the jewels!

2555
01:34:13,781 --> 01:34:15,016
Just look at it!

2556
01:34:15,016 --> 01:34:16,384
Unbelievable!

2557
01:34:16,384 --> 01:34:17,285
My theory is true!

2558
01:34:17,285 --> 01:34:18,186
We did it!

2559
01:34:18,186 --> 01:34:19,687
We did it!
[LAUGHS]

2560
01:34:19,687 --> 01:34:20,588
Feels good, doesn't it?

2561
01:34:20,588 --> 01:34:21,756
Uh-huh.

2562
01:34:21,756 --> 01:34:24,359
NAN: Ernest, you take that
crown off this instant

2563
01:34:24,359 --> 01:34:25,493
and you give it to my Abner.

2564
01:34:25,493 --> 01:34:26,995
You know, you are always
trying to take credit

2565
01:34:26,995 --> 01:34:28,096
for something you didn't do.

2566
01:34:28,096 --> 01:34:29,731
(AS ELVIS) Nan, cool it, baby.

2567
01:34:29,731 --> 01:34:32,100
Although those sapphires
really do bring out your eyes.

2568
01:34:32,100 --> 01:34:33,001
[LAUGHS]

2569
01:34:33,001 --> 01:34:34,669
Hey, hunk of burnin' love.

2570
01:34:34,669 --> 01:34:36,638
Ernest and I are going
to rewrite history, Nan.

2571
01:34:36,638 --> 01:34:39,173
BANDISH: I don't think so.

2572
01:34:39,173 --> 01:34:42,043
Her Majesty's Secret Service
is here to return the Jewels

2573
01:34:42,043 --> 01:34:44,145
to their rightful home.

2574
01:34:44,145 --> 01:34:46,314
The crown, please.

2575
01:34:46,314 --> 01:34:48,216
Well, it won't budge.

2576
01:34:48,216 --> 01:34:49,450
Believe me, we've all tried.

2577
01:34:49,450 --> 01:34:51,586
It won't come off.

2578
01:34:51,586 --> 01:34:54,856
Well then, by the laws
of Great Britain, he who

2579
01:34:54,856 --> 01:34:57,125
wears the crown shall be kind.

2580
01:34:57,125 --> 01:34:59,727
Oh no, no, I don't take
well to responsibility.

2581
01:34:59,727 --> 01:35:01,863
And besides, I'd-- I'd
have to learn the language.

2582
01:35:01,863 --> 01:35:03,131
Know what I mean?

2583
01:35:03,131 --> 01:35:05,767
I'm going to miss you, buddy.

2584
01:35:05,767 --> 01:35:07,268
Hey, what's that's
on your shirt?

2585
01:35:07,268 --> 01:35:08,169
[LAUGHS]

2586
01:35:08,169 --> 01:35:09,737
- I hate it when you do that!
- Hey!

2587
01:35:09,737 --> 01:35:10,471
Let go of my head!
- Noogie.

2588
01:35:10,471 --> 01:35:11,706
No noogies!
Time out!

2589
01:35:11,706 --> 01:35:12,707
No time out!

2590
01:35:12,707 --> 01:35:13,775
ABNER: King's X then!

2591
01:35:13,775 --> 01:35:14,676
ERNEST: No!

2592
01:35:14,676 --> 01:35:15,577
No King's X!

2593
01:35:15,577 --> 01:35:16,844
Time out, King's X
counts as a scooch!

2594
01:35:16,844 --> 01:35:17,745
ABNER: What?

2595
01:35:17,745 --> 01:35:19,147
I wasn't scooching!
I was hopping!

2596
01:35:19,147 --> 01:35:20,415
ERNEST: You were
scooching and looking

2597
01:35:20,415 --> 01:35:21,749
and that counts as a hop!

2598
01:35:21,749 --> 01:35:22,717
ABNER: Give me a second!

2599
01:35:22,717 --> 01:35:24,185
You said that
counted as a schooch!

2600
01:35:24,185 --> 01:35:27,589
[MUSIC PLAYING]

2601
01:35:31,960 --> 01:35:33,127
[WHISTLE BLOWS]

2602
01:35:33,127 --> 01:35:36,564
OK, Vern, I'm going to
explain this one more time.

2603
01:35:36,564 --> 01:35:38,866
It's my new movie,
"Ernest Goes to School."

2604
01:35:38,866 --> 01:35:40,235
And it's a whole lot of fun.

2605
01:35:40,235 --> 01:35:42,270
And here's my locker and--
and the football team,

2606
01:35:42,270 --> 01:35:43,171
and cafeteria food.

2607
01:35:43,171 --> 01:35:46,007
And Vern, they actually let
me handle some real books.

2608
01:35:46,007 --> 01:35:47,675
Vern, have you got
any more chalk?

2609
01:35:47,675 --> 01:35:48,576
That's OK.

2610
01:35:48,576 --> 01:35:49,711
I'll just use this pen.

2611
01:35:49,711 --> 01:35:51,112
See, what we're--

2612
01:35:51,112 --> 01:35:52,046
Oh.

2613
01:35:52,046 --> 01:35:54,449
Oh, doesn't that sound awful?

2614
01:35:54,449 --> 01:35:56,651
It kind of reminds you of this.

2615
01:35:56,651 --> 01:36:00,088
[NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD]

2616
01:36:10,832 --> 01:36:11,733
Know what I mean?

2617
01:36:17,438 --> 01:36:20,174
[MUSIC PLAYING]